Page 68 of Knot Happening

“That's awful,” I whisper, not understanding what would make her turn on Hayden in such a horrible way.

“Once she was done screaming profanities and flinging dishes at me, she told me about my father. About her history with him. How she got pregnant with the twins believing he was someone else, until one day he turned on her. How my mother,Patty, ended up pregnant with me. By force.” He looks away from me, the tremor in his body returning. “My father was a monster. I am the son of a rapist. He was a truly horrible, evil man.”

“Oh god, Hayden,” I gasp, but he won’t look at me now.

“Then my mom died in childbirth, and Melany decided to raise me to honor her best friend. It wasn’t long after that my father was killed.”

“Jesus,” I whisper, but don’t move away from him. I just keep purring, and let him continue.

“I ran. I didn’t want to believe her, but I also needed to understand why she looked at me like she fucking hated me. After eighteen years, the only person I’d ever called Mom, hated me. Declan and Kodiak took me in, sat me down to explain, fill in the missing pieces, and let me freak the fuck out. They got me shit-faced drunk, and when I sobered up, I couldn’t…face you. I hated myself as much as my mother did. By the time I got my shit together, I wasn’t sure how to approach you, or what to even say. It took six months, but by then, you hated me too. I thought,” he shrugs, “maybe my mom was right. I am a monster. Then you walked into the club like it was meant to be…”

I stay silent. For a long moment, I stay silent, until Hayden’s purr starts up, and I realize mine stopped. Now he’s soothing me.

He didn’t just fuck me and decide I wasn’t enough. No, his mother accused him of being a rapist, and he just…broke. She broke him, and then he broke me.

“I would have loved you anyway. I would have held you together while you fell apart,” I whisper, the tears falling freely as I realize three years of misery weren’t what I thought they were.

“I know. But I was a stupid teenager. I…didn’t think I deserved you. All I could see in the mirror was my father’sface. The face of a monster. There’s more. Shit he did to my brothers…but that’s their story to tell you. I’m only saying this so you understand how fucking deep my self-hatred ran. I spiraled. Lost my fucking mind for months, until Declan snapped me out of it.”

When he grips my thighs, pulling me into his lap, I let him. I’m straddling his lap, but he keeps me sitting far back enough that I don’t feel the length of him between my legs. His hands run up and down my back, after he presses my face to his neck, so his scent can soothe me.

“I’m so sorry, Hayden. You didn’t deserve that,” I whimper.

“And you didn’t deserve what I did. I just need you to understand that I wasn’t doing it because I wanted to hurt you. If anything, I was trying to hurt myself. I’d wanted you so fucking bad for so long, but you’d insisted we were just friends. Then, your heat came, and you let me in… Finally lowering your walls. It was fucking perfect. Everything I’d ever imagined and more. I’ve never been happier than I was for those few days with you. My best friend was my girl…and then everything fucking fell apart. I felt like I lost my whole world, when I lost you.”

“So did I.” I don’t say it to hurt him. Just to share in this misery between us.

His mother's actions broke two hearts that day. And clearly fucked her relationship with her boys up.

“She’s tried to apologize. I just… I haven’t been able to look at her since that day, without every hateful thought I’ve ever had about myself flooding my mind. Even now. Even though I know why she said what she said. What triggered her. That she had no real control of her response. I just…can’t.”

“It’s not your responsibility to fix what she broke. She fucked up. She ruined everything. That’s not on you. Even if you never forgive her.” I pause, smiling. “Your brother’s choosing you was sweet to see, though. They’re clearly still pissed at her.”

“I know. I keep trying to tell them this isn’t their problem but–”

“But they’re your brothers, and they love you. You’re Pack. They’re protective of you.” I shrug.

“Yeah, they really are,” Hayden chuckles.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Tatum

“Okay, big boy, lay down.”

I’m attempting to tuck the birthday boy in since he decided to party like a rock star all night. I’m starting to think this was a set-up. I’m patting his cheek as I try to make my escape when his strong hands grip my hips, and he rolls.

I’d gotten him into the bed after removing his shoes, but there was no way I was going to remove his clothes. Declan offered his assistance, but Kodiak literally barked at him like a feral Pomeranian until Declan walked away laughing.

“You smell so good, Omega. Let me have a little taste. Just one little lick. That's all I think about.”

His face is buried against my chest, my braless chest… And even though my nipples tighten, at the same time that slick wets my panties, I shake my head.

“You’re drunk, Kodiak. I’ll think about it when you sober up.”

He lets out the loudest groan, and I let him grope at me for a while longer. He’s hard to resist, but I’m not hooking up witha drunk Alpha, three bedrooms away from my first love and his twin that just ate me out days ago.

No heckin’ way.

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