Page 43 of Robert

“Oh God. What am I going to do?”

And on top of that, she was the one who had initiated the lovemaking in the first place. Shame coursed through her like molten lava. She was still the same shallow vindictive bitch shehad been before. She pretended she had changed, but that was not true.

She had to tell him. She had no idea how he was going to take the news, but she had to tell him, and this was not something she could do over the phone.

*****

“Why didn’t we work?” Merva pointed her fork at him, eyes twinkling. “And if you tell me the sex was lousy, I am going to jam this into your carotid artery. I know exactly where it is, due to my stint as a doctor on the soap I did a year ago.”

He chuckled, feeling the tension evaporating. “Undoubtedly.” Picking up his glass, he took a sip of the Pinot Gregio that had been paired with the excellent meal of grilled fish and seasoned vegetables. The time had been spent pleasantly enough and had him feeling very relaxed and almost forgetting his problems.

“It did not work because I am hooked on someone else.”

She gave him a measured glance and felt the familiar regret that he had slipped through her fingers. He was right. She was not head over heels in love with him, but he was an excellent lover, the best she ever had and was a very interesting person. But she always had the feeling he was holding something back.

“Your wife.”

He nodded, a faint smile touching his stern lips.

“How hooked?”

“Big time. All the way hooked.”

She shook her head. “Does she know?”

He shrugged. “She might.”

Taking a sip of her wine, she stared at him contemplatively. “I always admired the way you beat the odds. You never spoke about your past much and I am pretty certain the press exaggerated somewhat, because let’s face it, that’s what they do best.

I came from a very humble background – a broken home where daddy was abusive and mommy dearest was perfectly willing to drown her sorrows in the bottle, but they made it out to be something much worse than that because it sells a lot of magazines.” Her pretty mouth twisted slightly. “I have a feeling it was the same for you.”

“I would say they did not know the half of it.” He told her grimly. “It’s not something I like to talk about.”

“Darling, it’s what made you the kind of unique individual you are. You have made something of yourself, surpassing even the so-called American dream.” She sighed as she sipped her wine. “It’s so frustrating because I really think I could have fallen in love with you given the chance.”

He laughed at the pained look on her lovely face. “You are all right, Merva. And if I was not so far gone on another woman, I think I might have fallen in love with you too.”

“Somehow, that makes me feel better.” She said with her irresistible smile. “We should…” She paused when his phone started ringing and knew from the expression on his face that it was her. “I will leave you to it then.”

*****

She was all nerves. He had answered her call and that was something, but had sounded so cool and formal, that she was dreading telling him the news.

She could not suggest a divorce, unless that was what he wanted of course. But in all honesty and fairness, she couldn’t bring that up. It would be a disaster and his lawyers would have a field day.

She did not want to be married, but she supposed there was worse things than being married to a man she had feelings for. Conflicting ones, but strong enough, nonetheless.

She had come home, refusing to take the calls from Michael and sat in her living room, trying to gather her thoughts. When she realized she could not put it off any longer, she made the call and told him she had to talk to him immediately.

She jumped up when she heard the crunch of wheels on the driveway and hurried towards the door. She had showered and changed into a loose kaftan and decided against doing anything with her hair or even putting on makeup.

Taking a deep breath, she opened the door as soon as he stepped onto the porch and felt her heart quickening at the sight of him. His coat was obviously cashmere and was open all the way, revealing the black sweater that hugged his chest. His hair was windblown and gave him a carefree look until one saw the enigmatic look on his face.

“Sonya.” Greeting her with a nod, he stepped inside and relinquished his coat to her.

“A drink.” She hung up the coat carefully and preceded him into the living room.

“That would be nice.” He glanced around the tidy room with interest and noticed that she had a very distinctive taste. The furnishings were of good quality, and he was almost certain that the cabinet was oak.

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