Page 146 of Cruel Lies

Nash’s frown deepened. "The fuck does that mean?"

"Who’s gonna pay for your mom’s life support? And we’ll never get Angel the answers he wanted about his mom. The truth." My fingers tapped idly against the inside of my thigh, drumming a staccato pattern of anxiety and frustration. "This has ruined everything."

"I can pay for her life support on my own, Ro. He threatened to stop paying years ago, so I made a failsafe account and took out life insurance. She’ll be taken care of for the foreseeable future."

It was like my eyes were opening. All along, I thought of my brothers as something to defend. And here they were, making plans behind my back because they saw me as incompetent.

"So you didn’t need me?—"

"I never said we didn’t need you, Rowan. But you didn’t need to sacrifice tohimfor us. We never asked you to be our Joan of Arc."

I hadn’t even realized how much I’d given up to save men who had been capable of saving themselves all along. And if I couldn’t protect them, if they didn’tneedme to defend them anymore, where did that leave me?

What was I if I wasn’t their protector anymore?

"What about Angel?"

Nash sighed the sigh of a world-weary traveler who’d been tasked with delivering a painful truth. "Angel hasn’t needed either of us in a long time. What he needs is entirely different. And we can’t give it to him."

I had the feeling I already knew what our middle brother needed, but I couldn’t bring myself to admit it.

All this time, I thought I was protecting them from the world. And in reality, all I was doing was using them as a shield to prevent myself from having to face life on my own.

Who was I really? Why couldn’t I trust others to carry some of the weight, some of the load I took upon myself?

A knock at the door disrupted our heart-to-heart, and our attention zeroed in on the nurse at the door as she poked her head in and smiled gently. "Mr. Blackwood?"

We exchanged a knowing smirk and grinned back at the older lady. "That would be both of us."

She nodded, satisfied with our answer. "Good. Means I’ll only need to make one trip." Her eyes found Nash’s arm, and she eyeballed his IV bag from across the room. "One of you is due for a blood draw, and one of you is being asked for in room three-oh-three."

I instantly perked up at the news. "He’s awake?"

"Yessir," she said hesitantly, her own grin growing. "And he’s been asking after a girl named Harper. We told him we’d ask about her and let you know he was awake."

Great.

First thing he does is wake up and ask for someone who’d already gone.

"You have some explaining to do, Ro," Nash muttered, sliding his legs over the edge of the bed. "I’m coming with you in case he tries to take a swing."

The nurse glared at him like she might bite his head off if he tried. "You have a blood draw and a chest wound. You are absolutely not getting out of that bed, Mr. Blackwood."

Nash looked genuinely scared of this little woman. "I think you’ve got the wrong guy. I’m the Mr. Blackwood being asked about in the other room. He’s the one who needs his blood drawn, not me."

This overworked, underpaid lady was having none of it, though. As I stood to leave the room, she set to work strong-arming Nash back into bed, leaving me smiling despite myself at his weak protests.

The walk down the hall to Angel’s room was only a simple hundred feet, and yet it felt like miles to me. I couldn’t face him, knowing he sought someone who might never return. Someone who’d disappeared from our lives as quickly as she’d breezed back in. And it was all my fault.

My palm rested on the cool metal of his door as I struggled with a head hung low. I was ashamed of myself for what I’d done. Ashamed of how I’d acted. Nash was right, for once. I’d been so afraid of things being out of my control that I’d cut off my nose to spite my face.

The door opened to allow the nurse and attending doctor to slip out, and the ensuing gap caught Angel’s eye.

Making it impossible for me to back out now.

"Rowan?" he asked softly, his face paler than usual. "Come in, hurry up."

After a cursory nod to the doctor, I slipped in and shut thedoor behind me, not ready to take on the questions I knew he’d have.

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