Page 108 of Dozer

“Thanks.” I sat on the blanket with my legs stretched out in front of me and leaned back against the wall.

Dozer opened the bottle and handed it to me. I took three big swallows. The sweet flavor burned down my throat. I drank more.

“Easy.” He took the bottle from me and swigged a few mouthfuls. Then he set the bottle to the side. He rested his wrists on his bent knees.

Silence hung between us, a shroud of intimacy because neither one of us wanted to shatter whatever this was linking us together, but there were unspoken insecurities lingering that would keep us apart.

He smelled so good. The hint of his cologne and a touch of tobacco clung to the leather of his cut.

“You don’t have to talk about it,” he said.

I leaned my head against his shoulder and cried. Waves of emotions rolled over me, not a soft release, but a violent, crashing storm of fear and anger, battering me with guilt and regrets.

Dozer wrapped his arm around my shoulders and held me. He let me cry until my tears stopped, and I was a mess of swollen eyes and gulping breaths. I released a long, calming exhale.

“About fifteen minutes after the class started, Quinn came into the classroom. Professor Graves gathered her purse and left. I don’t know whathappened, but Quinn stood over me the entire class. I couldn’t get up without making a scene. I knew if I took out my phone and let you know, you’d come in and clobber him.” I hiccupped on a breath.

The real fear hadn’t set in until he rested a hand on my shoulder at the end of class. “I left the gun in Levi’s car, but I wouldn’t have been able to pull the trigger. I couldn’t move, Dozer. I always imagined going badass like Hana. I’d kick him in the balls, unleash my inner bitch, but I’m a fucking mouse under the paw of a lion.”

His fingers curled into my hair, holding my head. “You’re not a mouse.” He pressed his lips to my temple. “You weren’t raised to fight, baby. That’s a good thing.”

I sat up and angled toward him, wanting to see his eyes as I asked him what he would have done if he pulled his gun in the classroom. “Would you have killed him?”

He picked up a curl of my hair and wound the strands around his finger. “I couldn’t see what he was doing to you when I walked into the room.” His gaze lifted to mine. “But I saw the terror in your eyes. Did he touch you?”

More tears filled my eyes and slipped onto my cheeks. I’d never keep secrets from him again. “My arms, my shoulders.” I gulped a breath. “Dozer, he had his lips on my neck. I couldn’t move,” I whispered.

“Yeah, I want him dead.” He cupped my cheek, then grazed his thumb across my lower lip.

“Why didn’t I scream?”

“Self-preservation. Instinct kicks in for survival. What if he’d strangled you because you screamed? Youcan’t second guess what was right or wrong. You did the right thing because you’re here with me now.”

I leaned into his touch.

“I’m sorry, baby. I know we’re sort of a mess right now, but we’ll get back to good.”

I lifted onto my knees and straddled Dozer’s lap. He kept his hands to his side as I checked his pockets, sliding my hand into the one at his side, and grabbed his cigarettes because he always kept a blunt tucked in the cellophane.

“You want to catch a ride?” He took the cigarettes from my hand and pulled the blunt from his pack.

“Get me high, Dozer. I don’t want to think about him anymore.”

I loved the way his soft, full lips closed around the tightly wrapped paper. After flicking open his Zippo, his thumb struck the flint wheel and the flame danced into the weed as he inhaled. The lighter snapped closed as the tip of the blunt glowed again.

My heart rattled around in my chest, teetering on the decision to jump or be shoved.

His thick, strong fingers, combed through my hair as he brought my face close to his. Lips parted. He exhaled. I inhaled.

I stared into his eyes. It hurt to love him, but the pain of being without him took my breath.

“Ready?” he asked.

Was I ready? Was he?

I nodded, and he took another long pull. Warm intoxication slipped through my veins as I breathed in. I needed this, to get blazed with Dozer, to know I was safe when I was with him. Maybe not my heart. Itwasn’t safe because this felt too good. Tension drained from my limbs. As they grew heavy, I settled fully onto Dozer’s lap.

His hand skimmed along my thigh, onto my hip, and curved onto my ass.

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