Page 15 of Dozer

The philosophers were right. Once wants were verbalized, the universe conspired to make them happen.

I closed the garage door and entered the house. The blinds and curtains were closed. The sweet and pungent scent of weed permeated the air. I inhaled the memory of Dozer making me high with his breath. He hadn’t needed to touch me for every hair on my arms to prickle with awareness.

I set my keys and backpack on the table. “Breaking and entering is against the law.”

Dozer leaned forward on my sofa, resting his forearms on the knees of his torn jeans. “Are you going to call the cops?”

“The house has a security system. My sister told them not to come. She’s watching us on the camera.”

“You give me shit for taking advantage of an erotic visual masterpiece, and you’re living in a fishbowl, under surveillance twenty-four/seven.”

I snorted and plopped down next to him and sucked in my cheeks like a guppy. “I don’t recall giving you shit.”

“Cute.”

“Glad you think so.” I toed off my sneakers and propped my feet on the coffee table.

Silence hung heavy between us. Neither of us sure what to say. I know what I wanted to tell him. That I’d tossed and turned in bed last night, wondering what it would have been like for his mouth to cover mine.

“Do you only want to watch?”

“Not with you.” He glanced back at me. “I’d want more.”

How could Dozer really care about a woman if he was willing to share her with another man? Jealousy snaked through me imagining Levi naked and curled into him.

And I suspected, and Romeo all but admitted, that he slept with other girls.

Yet, because of one axis tilting encounter, it was Dozer fucking up my emotions.

“I can’t stop thinking about what I’ve done,” I said.

“You haven’t done anything wrong.” He leaned back and clasped his hands together.

“Haven’t I?”

He turned his head, and our gazes connected. “You didn’t invite me into a threesome with Romeo. I’m an asshole, Pippa. I took advantage of an opportunity because I want you for myself. And I just broke into your house so that I could be near you. This is on me.”

“Well, I’m pretty sure I fucked my boyfriend while you watched. And I came staring into your eyes instead of his.” And that was the problem. Examining why I didn’t tell Romeo would make me admit that I’d shared an intimate moment with Dozer. I was afraid I would again.

“Boyfriend?”

“I’m not presuming to be his girlfriend, but I’m not sleeping with anyone else.” No matter how hot, I wasn’t going to get burned by Dozer. I’d have to end things with Romeo first.

A hot knife of regret sliced into my chest. But it was futile to wish for something that had never happened. Romeo had never twisted me up inside the way Dozer did. I couldn’t breathe when he was near. My body hummed. Why did his gaze have to feel like a caress? I only knew it did.

I hoped Romeo meant what he’d said, that we could stay friends, because I was going to tell him the truth…at least about what had happened. I wouldn’t tell him that I’d had sex with him while thinking of Dozer.

“You’re right. He’s not my boyfriend,” I softly said. “But he’s your best friend.”

I had a brother and knew how dating formers screwed up a friendship. I wasn’t going to be the girl who slept her way through a motorcycle club.

“As attracted as I am to you,” I said, “it wouldn’t be worth the risk. Romeo and I could end tomorrow, and we’d stay good friends. I don’t think you and I would end the same.” I inhaled long and deep, then slowly exhaled. “So maybe we should focus on friendship.”

“Just friends?” he asked.

“I can’t be with you both.” There wouldn’t be room in my heart for anyone else if I let myself fall for Dozer. I wouldn’t risk coming between them.

“It’s okay, Pip.” A rare smile curled his lips. “Do friends make lunch?”

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