Page 99 of Blue

I gave Jazzy’s car a few minutes of run time to charge the battery, then killed the engine, locked the doors, and headed inside.

About a dozen people lingered in the open foyer area. I sidled around the room. Ansel stood behind a desk, deep in conversation with a guy in a suit. His mouth pulled into a hard line, and he folded his arms across his chest. We made eye contact, and he nodded toward a set of double doors.

Inside, there were folding chairs facing the front of the room. A banquet table stretched along the left side of the room. My girl stood next to a ginger, eating cookies, and sipping a cup of coffee.

As soon as she saw me heading toward her, she smiled and said something to the girl next to her who snapped her gaze over her shoulder and had a big smile on her face.

“I heard this is the snack table,” I said and grabbed a cookie.

“This is Georgia.” Kiss handed me her cup of coffee, and I took a couple of sips. “I don’t want to be up front,” she said, and pointed to a cluster of chairs.

“Where are Brad and Ryatt?” Georgia stacked four cookies on a napkin.

Kiss shrugged, filled another paper coffee cup, and led us to a couple of chairs. This was only her second meeting, and yet, she already seemed comfortable with the people.

Ansel spoke to the group. When we welcomed visitors, his gaze locked on me. He sat on a table at the head of the room and clasped his hands in his lap.

“I need to talk with you before we open the meeting to sharing.” For the next few minutes, he spoke about his experiences with addiction. Not his, but his brother who died of a drug overdose. He struggled with accepting the loss. “There is only so much a sober individual can do for an addict. I couldn’t be sober for him, and I couldn’t stop him from making the choice to use.”

He squinted his eyes, blinking rapidly, and his lower lip trembled.

“Last night, Janie overdosed.” A tear slipped onto his cheek.

The room grew quiet, too quiet.

“Is she going to make it?” Georgia’s whispered word echoed through the room with the force of a twelve-point earthquake, the question too impossible to believe.

Ansel gave a single shake of his head.

It was almost as if the entire room stopped breathing. I reached for Kiss’s hand. Her palm locked to mine. I stared at her profile. Her eyes closed as tears slipped down her cheeks.

They’d only just met, but they shared the same abusive relationship with black. Ansel called on people to share, most talked about their friendship with Janie.

When Ansel asked Kiss if she’d like to share, she squeezed my hand. She stood, and for a moment, she didn’t say anything.

“I could be Janie. I am Janie. My story is the same as hers.” Her voice trembled. “I’ve used and relapsed. I’ve died, but I was lucky to get another chance.” She wiped tears from her cheeks. “I only met Janie yesterday. Life changes in a moment. I hurt a lot of people with my addiction. But we hurt ourselves the most. Looking in the mirror is hard. Admitting my culpability is hard.” She took a breath. “Janie was my sponsor for a day. But I’m going to remember today when I feel weak because I can do hard shit. Rock bottom wasn’t my end. It’s my foundation.”

When the meeting ended, Kiss stayed close to my side as we walked out with Brad, Ryatt, and Georgia.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do without her,” Georgia said.

Ryatt wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “We got you, red.”

“We still have each other.” Brad’s jaw clenched and moisture shimmered in his eyes. “Fuck.” He turned away, tipped his head back, and closed his eyes. “I just want to get fucked up and forget about this.”

Kiss stiffened. “And that’s why she’s dead. That’s why we all should be dead for the shit we’ve done. God knows I want to use, but I made a promise to myself.”

“You need to get high? You can without fucking up your sobriety.” I nodded toward their bikes. “Let’s ride.” I wrapped my arm around Kiss’s neck, tugged her flush against me, and pressed my lips to her forehead. “We’ll ride for Janie.”

She clung to my cut and nodded.

“Want to be my backpack?” Brad asked Georgia.

“Do you know how to ride pillion?” Kiss asked her.

Georgia slipped on her backpack, probably filled with cookies. “No.”

Brad and Ryatt sat on their bikes, and I slung a leg over my Harley. “Did Janie have a favorite place?” I asked.

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