Page 88 of Blue

Only I didn’t know how to contact him. He rented a room at the MC, and I was banned from the clubhouse.

Fuck Blade. He could get over it.

I chewed my lip as I made a call. I hardly knew Ansel, but he’d said if I needed anything, to call. He answered right away.

“I don’t have any money for an Uber.” I hiccupped on my tears. “I need a ride.” I prayed he didn’t ask a lot of questions because I couldn’t answer without crying.

“I’ll be there in five minutes.”

“Thank you.” I barely breathed the words. I scrambled into Blue’s room, fished through his laundry, grabbed his hoodie, and pulled it on. The soft fleece carried his scent. A fresh wash of tears filled my eyes. I brought the fabric to my nose, inhaled him, then rushed out of the house, locked the door, and jogged to the curb to wait for Ansel.

This was a sick and familiar feeling twisting in my gut, waiting for a ride, usually to go score black. Headlights rounded the corner. I bounced from one foot to the other, and didn’t wait for the car to come to a stop before jumping in.

“Thank you,” I said as Ansel pulled away from the curb. “I don’t really have anyone I could call.” I stared into the darkness outside the passenger window. “I don’t have any friends anymore.”

“Where am I going?” The glow from the dash illuminated his face.

“The old Saint Mary’s catholic church. The Heller Raiders MC.” I took out my phone. “I don’t know the address, but I can find it.”

“Kiss, I’ve been running the NA meetings at the community center for six years. I know about the Heller Raiders. I know you have some affiliation with them since the gentleman who came with you the other day had their patches on his leather vest.”

“My boyfriend is a Heller.” I had told him about Blue today, about how he’d bring me to the meeting.

Ansel exhaled a heavy sigh. “It’s best to surround yourself with people who have your same goals.” He curled his fingers around the steering wheel. “We call it finding sober living activities.”

I nodded as I sent a text to Jazzy. In a couple minutes, we’d be at the gate, but I needed inside the club.

Kiss: I’m coming to the MC. Are you there?

I tapped my fingers against the edge of my phone and waited for her reply. As we rounded the corner of the church, my anxiety redlined. I still hadn’t heard back from Jazzy.

Ansel pulled along the curb.

“This is a time to be selfish, Kiss.” He glanced at the ten-foot fence and razor wire.

Kiss: I’m here.

Jazzy still hadn’t responded.

A bike roared up to the code box. I didn’t recognize the biker, but I didn’t care.

“I know. Thank you for the ride.” I tugged on the handle and vaulted from the vehicle.

“Will I see you tomorrow at the meeting?”

I heard his question as I closed the door, but I didn’t have time to reply. I ran past the motorcycle, through the gate, and headed toward the entrance to the church.

Adrenaline flowed through me. What if Blade forced me to leave before I could talk to Cruz? I glimpsed Sully’s custom paint job, and a sliver of relief cut through the worry that if Cruz wasn’t here I’d be too late for Blue.

Hellers gathered around the oil drum. I rushed by them, shoved open the door, and hurried into the chapel. The familiar scents of cigarettes and exhaust saturated the air.

I scanned the room, anxiety curdling in my gut, and spotted Blade sitting at the same table where his father used to lord over his club. Our gazes connected, and he rose to his feet.

Breath froze in my lungs. Crawlers. Panic slipped through my thoughts. I was so fucked. Blade shared a table with two guys. Last time I saw them their snake and skull patch proclaimed them enemies of the Hellers. They were soldiers for Wrench.

Blade said something to the table then stormed across the room. I braced for his wrath, for him to escort me out of the club, but he pulled me into his arms.

“What’s wrong?” His softly spoken words had tears filling my eyes.

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