Page 77 of Blue

“Being a daddy looks good on Romeo. Those two are good for each other.” Rogue stood to refill his coffee. He pointed to his chair for me to sit down.

“I’m good. Thank you.” Before yesterday, I’d been scared of Rogue. The VP of the Heller Raiders was intimidating, massive, and scary. And now, I knew he was waiting for me to fuck up again just like everyone else.

But I wanted to hear about the baby, and I needed to be near Blue.

“When you gonna give me a grandbaby?” Sully asked Rogue.

Rogue grumbled. “As soon as Jazzy tells me to knock her up.”

Blue cracked a smile, and my heart did a little hiccup.

“That’s what I figured.” Sully put his cup in the sink and spoke to me. “I’m working swings this week. Are you going to the meeting this morning?”

I nodded.

“Good. I’m proud of you, peanut.”

“I’m going to sit outside.” I had to leave before I cried. With my cup in my hand, I walked outside. Choosing a spot in the sunshine, I sat on the bottom step leading to Jazzy’s apartment.

Less than a minute later, Blue came out of the house with the old crocheted blanket from the chair in Sully’s living room.

“Thanks,” I said as he wrapped it around my shoulders.

“I don’t know what to say besides I’m sorry.”

I sighed and wrapped the blanket tighter. “I’m sorry, too. We both made mistakes yesterday.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Blue, we both did. You can’t be afraid to talk to me. You should have told me what Blade said.” But I understood why he didn’t. And then I shut him out, and he walked away. “It’s my fault I’m not welcome at the MC.”

“I’ll give up my patch.”

I turned to him. “No way. Not for me. We both know it isn’t the patch. It’s what the club gives you.” Last night, he’d shown me what would happen to him without the Hellers. I’d never take that from him.

“I fucking hate this. I feel like we’re losing each other.”

“Blue, I’m right here.” I leaned against him. “You need the club the same way I’m going to need meetings. I’m not taking you with me to NA, and you can go to church without me.” I smirked. “I’m still going to be the only girl on the back of your bike.”

“Fuck, yeah, you are.” I felt the tension leave his body. “I should get going.” He rubbed his palms on the faded denim of his jeans. “With Jazzy at the hospital with Romeo, I need to be there early.”

“Are you going to go see the baby?” I asked.

“Eventually. Dozer and Torch asked if I could stay on for a while at the shop. They have a lot of work coming in, and with Romeo taking a couple weeks off, they can use the help.”

“That’s great.” Blue needed a job. So did I. I planned to ask Ansel if he had any resources for jobs and housing, places that didn’t judge recovering addicts. “I’m going to my first meeting this morning.”

“Do you want to meet up after? We can grab some lunch, and you can tell me about it.”

“Can I text you? I don’t know what time the meeting ends.” I tried to sound enthusiastic, and Blue tried to smile. We both failed.

“I guess I’ll catch you later.” Blue stood, and I lurched to my feet. We stared at each other for two beats of my heart. With anxiety knotting my stomach, I clasped my hands behind my back.

Blue curled his palm around the nape of my neck, rested his forehead against mine, and simply breathed me in. Then for the briefest moment, his lips were on mine.

He inched back and smiled. “I’ll see you later. Don’t rush out of the meeting. You need this. I’ll grab lunch with the guys.”

I exhaled my fear, and I slipped my fingers into the beltloops at his waist. We’d be fine. “I’ll text you as soon as the meeting is over.”