Page 70 of Blue

Green, but I could feel the trembling inside him, the fear and the panic my touch caused him. But I trusted him to stop me before the blackness robbed us of what we both needed. To touch and be touched.

I licked the soft trail of hair beneath his navel and gently sucked the tender flesh of his inner thigh. Then I cradled his balls in my palm and softly rolled them between my fingers. His cock kicked. One moment swelling and hardening, and the next, losing the firmness. He fisted the sheet. Tendon stretched in his forearm, veins bulging in the fight to stay with me, not against me.

Quivers rippled the muscles of his belly, and his ragged breaths echoed in the room. His skin was warm with the slight hint of sweat and musk. I breathed deeply, his essence seeping into me. Fuck, but I wanted to taste him. I wanted to feel his cock grow and harden in my mouth. I wanted him desperate and aching the same as me.

“Red light.” The pain in his voice ripped at my chest. I hurt for the broken pieces of this man.

Tears burned behind my eyes. I had a PhD in burying my feelings and pretending to be someone I wasn’t. We were the same, and this wasn’t Blue.

The blanket slipped to his waist as I crawled up his body, curled into him, and rested my arm over his chest. The tension melted off him, and his arms circled me. His lips pressed against the top of my head.

My cheek rested on the smooth plain of his pectoral with my breasts crushed against his ribs. He trailed his fingers along my side. Quietness thickened between us. This was enough.

“Do you know Jazzy’s mom?” I asked.

He rubbed a few strands of my hair through his fingers. “I’ve met her.”

I rolled, leaned on his chest, and propped my chin on my arms. “She came over today. I guess no one told her I was staying here. She’s not happy about it. I get it.”

“Sully won’t kick you out.”

“I know, but I don’t want to stay if it’s going to cause problems. I thought maybe I could stay with you.”

Blue licked his upper lip, turned his gaze away from me, and shifted to dislodge me from his chest. “Nah. You don’t want to be at the MC.”

I guess I hadn’t prepared for him to say no because my throat tightened, and an uneasy feeling churned in my gut. I sat up and tucked the blanket around my breasts. “Are you afraid I’ll use because I’m starting meetings tomorrow. Even if I go to the clubhouse, I’m not going to. I know Sully will let me stay, but I’d rather be with you.”

“It’s not a good idea.” He shifted, sitting up.

“What part isn’t a good idea?”

“You going to the MC. It’s barely over a week. You need to give it some time.”

“I don’t want to argue—”

“But you’re going to.”

“Yes.” I launched from the bed, snagged my T-shirt from the floor, and pulled it on. “No one knows better than me how long—how many days it’s been since I stuck a needle in my arm.” I was fighting the cravings every fucking minute of the day. But I had more reasons to stay clean than to use. Being with Blue made more sense than staying where I’d cause problems between Sully and his old lady.

“Baby, I promise, I’d rather be here with you than at the club.”

“Isn’t being together most important?”

He grabbed my wrist and tugged me back onto the bed. “We are together. You can’t rush recovery.”

I groaned, rolled my eyes, and crashed onto the bed. “I know. Please don’t turn into a PSA. I had enough therapy to know the buzz phrases. You can’t keep me clean. And I’m the only one who can make me use.”

He braced over me. “I know.” He nuzzled my neck. “But we have privacy here.”

His mouth covered mine. His tongue traced the seam of my lips. If this was his way of distracting me, I was good with it. Kissing was better than arguing. Especially when he was naked, and his chest pressed against mine. Why had I put my stupid T-shirt back on?

I wiggled beneath him. “Privacy is good.”

He chuckled and braced on one outstretched arm.

“Yes, you’re proving you can distract me with kisses.” I rolled my eyes and wrestled with my shirt.

“I’d rather kiss than fight.” The humor darkened into an intangible craving. He grabbed my T-shirt. “Hands over your head.”

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