Not just Hellers. Bikers. Once she’d lost Romeo, she’d gone to the Crawlers. Now she had me.
Doubts began to coil uncomfortably in my gut. Kiss and I weren’t connected by drugs, sex, or addiction. What I had with her was different. It had to be or everything I wanted to believe in with her would be a lie.
“You need to be here for church on Friday.” Blade’s final ultimatum didn’t leave room for compromise. As a patched member, church was mandatory.
As soon as we walked into the chapel, the scent of street tacos and burritos blended with exhaust fumes, leather, and cigarettes. I loved the smell of the MC. It permeated every good thought I’d had for the last year. Prospecting had given me courage, and my fucking patch had given me something to belong to.
But Kiss… She seeped deep. I needed her more than I needed the Hellers.
Jazzy walked out of the back with Rogue. They plopped down around the table next to Stormy and Bullet and dug into the food. I took one of the vacant stools.
“Where’s Kiss?” Jazzy stuffed a big bite of burrito into her mouth.
I cocked a brow. “She was still in bed when I left, so I assumed she was going to be with you.”
“And I thought she was with you when she wasn’t at the house. Rogue left before me. He was headed to the prison to visit with Tank.”
Dozer’s dad’s thirty-six months on weapons charges had been dropped to twelve. I’d come to the club after he’d been locked up, but I’d seen pictures of him of the walls of the MC.
Jazzy pulled out her phone. “My dad wasn’t at the house either. Did he say anything about going somewhere with Kiss?”
“Neither said anything to me.” I sent Kiss a text. I didn’t want to come off abrasive and ask her where she was and who she was with, but those were the two thoughts in my head.
Last night, with Sully saying goodnight, was the first time anyone had hinted that my being with Kiss wasn’t a mistake. All the concerns from Jazzy, Romeo, Rogue, and even Bullet were starting to take root in my head.
Blue: Thinking about you. You okay?
Almost instantly, dots appeared on my phone.
Kiss: I’m with Sully. Are you okay?
Blue: I’m at the MC. Be home soon.
Kiss: Me, too.
“She’s with your dad,” I said to Jazzy.
“You can’t keep her locked up,” Bullet said. “It won’t stop her from using.”
This conversation wasn’t happening, not with me in it. They could think what they wanted. I wasn’t going to convince them Kiss wouldn’t relapse, I wasn’t going to be able to convince them she wanted to get clean, and I couldn’t convince them I wasn’t like the other bikers. Because I wasn’t sure I could convince myself.
Levi waddled out of the back room, stood at the table because there weren’t any open chairs, and unwrapped a taco. “I want to eat this, but everything is making me sick.”
I launched up. “You can sit here.”
She moaned around a bite of taco and shook her head at me. “Can’t,” she said, covering her mouth with her palm. “My crotch hurts.”
Jazzy choked on a laugh. “Hey, pretty boy,” she called to Romeo. He stood with Blade and Dozer behind the bar. “Leave your girl alone until after she has this baby.” She smirked at Levi.
Levi snorted. “I’m surprised he’s smiling. There isn’t enough room inside me for food. No way is he getting his dick in me.”
Stormy shot soda from her nose. “Oh my god.” She grabbed napkins.
“Sorry,” Levi said and chuckled. “I’ll just say Romeo’s balls are as blue as Blue’s.” She smiled at me with a tilt to her head. “Just teasing. I’ve heard about you and Kiss. Hana said you took her axe throwing.”
“Did you have fun?” Jazzy asked. “Did you do anything else?”
“Like what?” I asked as if I didn’t know exactly what she fished for.