Page 59 of Blue

She rose onto her knees. I gripped her hips as she straddled my lap, rested her hands on my shoulders, and crashed her mouth into mine. Our kiss went from zero to sixty in one point six seconds.

Her skin was soft and warm beneath my palms. I mapped the ladder of her ribs, grazed over the strap of her sports bra, then splayed my fingers and roamed her back.

She moaned low in her throat and ground down onto my cock, my hard fucking cock crushing against the heat of her pussy. I growled and kissed her harder. Deeper. Trembling started in my chest, migrating lower into my abdomen, and rippling into my legs.

“Blue—”

“Shh. Just kiss me.” Nothing could break the connection. Heat burned through my system, scorching a path of fire through every part of my body. My balls grew heavy. Fuck. I was going to come in my jeans. Pressure built in my chest.

Fisting my fingers into the tangles of hair draping her back, I held her immobile. Lips meshed. She whimpered, and I thrust my hips into her, trying to find my fucking climax.

Her nails dug into my shoulders, and her body vibrated. “I’m going to come,” she whispered, rocking her hips harder and faster.

A flare of heat sizzled along my spine, and my gut clenched. Kiss ripped her lips from mine, clamped her mouth closed to stifle her cry, and convulsed on my lap.

I squeezed her tight, even as I felt the pressure in my groin slacken, and my cock slowly softened. I hadn’t come, but my girlfriend had come on my cock.

A shiver rippled over my flesh. I might not be fixed. But maybe I wasn’t completely broken.

Chapter Nine

Kiss

Blue left early to work at the motorcycle shop. After I took a shower, and dressed for the day, I grabbed a cup of coffee and joined Sully at the kitchen table.

“How you doing, peanut?”

“Good.” I propped one foot on the chair and glanced out at the morning mist coming off the grass. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been clean and content. But I recognized being happy with Blue didn’t mean I’d be happy being me. I needed help. But not at a methadone clinic to curb my cravings. I didn’t know how to live sober, and my sobriety wasn’t Blue’s responsibility.

“Seems like you and Blue got something good going.” He sipped his coffee and skimmed the news on his tablet.

I smiled. “We’re good.” I took a sip of my coffee. “He’s the reason I’m sober.”

Sully’s gaze met mine.

“But he shouldn’t be.” I picked at my fingernail. “I hurt a lot of people. I don’t want to hurt him, and I don’t want him to be afraid of my addiction.”

Sully turned off his tablet and pushed it into the center of the table. “Tell me the truth. You gonna use again? Don’t try to tell me you don’t know. You make achoice. No one promised life was going to be easy. And I ain’t saying you haven’t been dealt a shit hand.”

“I’m not going to use, but I can’t hide here. It’s easy to say I’m going to stay clean when I have a babysitter twenty-four hours a day. I found a hybrid program. It’s free outpatient therapy, and they offer NA meetings. I’d get a sponsor and a counselor. The NA meetings are every day and group therapy once a week.”

A slow smile played at his lips.

I twisted my fingers in my lap. “The NA meetings can be anonymous, but if I want the therapy, I have to sign up for the program. I don’t want to go alone. Will you take me?”

He pushed his chair back. “Hell yes.”

“We would have to go this morning.” The community center offered two daily NA meetings during the week, but registering for therapy was only offered before the morning meeting on Wednesdays.

“Get your boots on, grab a helmet, and let’s go.”

I pushed my chair back. “It’s across town. After today, I’ll get a bus pass.” Or hitchhike my way there, but I was going to do this.

“No need. Jazzy’s car is in the garage.” He put on his cut. “It’s a piece of shit, but it’ll get you around.”

I was about to argue, but Sully wagged a finger. Then waved me away.

In my room, I put on boots, pulled on a hoodie, and tucked my phone into my pocket. I grabbed my ID, the only thing from my backpack Jazzy had saved.

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