Page 35 of Blue

“I get it. My parents are gone, too. Not that I plan to have kids anytime soon. But if I did, I’d have more than my brother and Gabi. Romeo and Dozer are like my brothers. You know, I feel the same way about you.”

“You got a point to this conversation?”

“Yes, don’t be an asshole.” She mixed another color for her mural. “I’m just saying that the Hellers are all the family I need. We’re family, Blue.” She flipped on the air compressor. “Tell me about Kiss.” She glanced over her shoulder. “I stopped by Jazzy’s this morning since she hasn’t been at the shop.”

“We’re friends.” I rolled my shoulders. “Maybe more. I’m just not ready to make us public. And neither is she.”

Hana snorted. “Okay, but you’re not changing your road name just because you have a girlfriend.”

Chapter Six

Kiss

I hadn’t seen much of Blue for the last couple of days. After meeting me at the bottom of the stairs each morning, he’d leave with Rogue, but he’d text me throughout the day. Jazzy had taken me shopping for two pairs of jeans and a couple of T-shirts. And some sexy bras and panties. One day, I’d wear them for Blue.

Maybe.

I hoped.

I’d promised Jazzy I’d pay her back.Promised. I was going to keep all my promises.

Maybe the separation had been for the best because I felt like I was through the roughest part of my withdrawals.

I wasn’t stupid enough to think I was cured. I’d made that mistake too many times to fall for my own mental manipulations. If I wanted to stay clean, I had to quit my triggers. And my triggers were more like an all you can eat buffet. I didn’t need much of a reason to use.

This morning, for the first time, I didn’t wake up with a headache. It was still dark outside. While Jazzy slept, I made coffee and sent Blue a text.

Kiss: Are you asleep?

While I waited for an answer, I poured a cup of coffee and took it outside. I walked halfway down thestairs and sat where I could see the side entrance of Sully’s place, and where I wouldn’t set off the outside security light at Jazzy’s screen door.

The predawn chorus of birds chirped in the twilight. I listened to the rhythmic hits of the neighbor’s impact sprinkler. Steam rose from my mug as I took a sip. I couldn’t remember the last time I sat contently and just waited for sunrise.

Sully’s side door opened. My heart skipped a beat, and my tummy tumbled. Wearing his usual T-shirt and jeans, Blue crossed the driveway, and quietly bounded barefoot up the stairs.

“Good morning, beautiful.”

“Hi.” I scooched over, and he sat next to me.

With my palms wrapped around my mug, I held still, waiting, anticipating. My breath caught as he leaned in, and his breath warmed my lips. His eyes stared into mine, and a smile curled his lips.

“You look good in the morning.” And then he kissed me.

A soft whimper escaped me as his tongue tangled with mine. His fingers were in my hair. Breath blended. I smiled against his mouth.

We were getting good at this. He touched and tasted. I breathed him in but kept my hands locked to the mug. I could wait to touch him because I felt the kiss from my lips to the tips of my bare toes curling into the step. As long as he was kissing me, we were good. One day, maybe he’d be ready formeto kisshim.

“You’re up early,” he whispered.

“I couldn’t sleep.” This might be the only time we saw each other today.

Rogue had him working on Willow’s place. Blue had told me about the remodel. I was happy for Levi. Willowhad always been there for her. She’d been a mother to all of us, but especially to Dozer and Romeo.

Another piece of my past. I hadn’t realized how important the people around me were until I’d destroyed the relationships. Everyone eventually got sick of my drama.

“I have energy now and nothing to do with it.” I took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. “Jazzy hasn’t said anything about me leaving, but she needs her house back. I have to think about where I’m going to go from here. I don’t want to go to a halfway house. I don’t want to be around users.”

“You can’t rush recovery. You don’t need the stress.”

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