“Cruz doesn’t seem to have any filters or concern for self-preservation.” She brought her knees to her chest. “If you two are planning something, just tell me.”
“Cruz said something on the roof that’s stuck with me. When you have skeletons in your closet, they don’t just disappear with time. You have to bury them.”
“Like a metaphor,” she said.
“Like six feet deep.”
She traced the stitching pattern on the blanket with her fingertip. “Did you tell Cruz what Carl did to you?”
“I didn’t have to.” A sheepish smirk twisted my lips. I could tell her anything. “I was fucked up. I’d have finished the fifth of whiskey if Cruz hadn’t chucked it over the side of the building. Then we smoked a couple bowls of weed.”
And I regretted all of it. Leaving her that night, using, wanting to jump.
“Up on the roof, I said Carl’s name. I said a lot of shit because I thought I was having a conversation with my conscience who sounded like a pissed off Cruz.” I smiled at her. “Turns out my conscience is beginning to sound like a beautiful blonde woman who can see past my damage.”
“I don’t want to be your conscience. I want to be your lover, your friend, your everything. If it means you need to know your perpetrator is dead, that’s justice.”
“As much as I’d love to be the cause of Carl Douglas’s death, he’s not a dope sick drug dealer I can shoot up with cleaner and leave dead in a bathtub.”
“Like Jonesy and Hunter, you can give Carl a taste of Heller justice.”
“He’s going to get more than a taste. I want him choking on it. I want him to fear me for the rest of his life. I am going to take back what he took from me including the photos and videos. I hate that he has any part of me, even a fucking memory. When he thinks about me, I want him to piss his pants. I want him watching over his shoulder for the rest of his life, knowing I could be there to fuck him up.”
“You can make sure he has a reminder.” She chewed her thumbnail. “Scar him the way he scarred you. He’s always going to remember you. Make it so he can never forget.”
I laid back on the bed and combed my fingers through my flop of bangs.
“I assume he’s still in the same office building and still living in the same neighborhood as my parents.” I sighed and scrubbed a hand down my face. “I’ll talk to Cruz about it more tomorrow.”
Kiss slid off the bed, grabbed the hem of her hoodie, and pulled it over her head. “I still want to go to the NA meeting in the morning.” She unhooked her bra and dropped it to the floor.
Blood surged into my cock, leaving me lightheaded and fucking hard as hell. “Yeah, okay.” I couldn’t think of anything else to say with saliva coating my mouth, and a wild heat scorching through my body.
She paused in unzipping her jeans. “Are we going to bed? Or did you want to go back out there?” She hooked a thumb in the direction of the chapel.
“Nah.” I wanted to be alone with her.
Kiss shimmied her hips and stripped out of her jeans, taking her panties with them. Her body was a highspeed ride. I wanted to throttle through the curvesof her hips, grip tight to her tits, and race like the fucking wind across the smooth lines of her abdomen.
I stood from the bed and jerked out of my cut and shirt.
“My heart hurts for Janie.” She continued to chatter as if she didn’t have me skating the edge of coming in my jeans.
Nothing could compare to how much it had hurt to know Kiss was using again. I could’ve lost her in the same way.
“I know what she was thinking,” Kiss continued. “I’ve been there. Sometimes, it’s hard to find a reason to stay clean. It’s never hard to find a reason to use. That’s why I know I need to go to the meeting even though it’s going to suck. I just met her, but she’s all I’m going to be able to think about. She’s all anyone is going to want to talk about. I want to be there for Georgia, Ryatt, and Brad.”
I’d undressed to my boxers, and my cock pressed against the thin cotton.
Kiss stared at me and licked her lips. “Nothing has to happen between us. I just want to be naked with you.”
We both knew a lot more was happening between us. We were sharing secrets and trusting each other. We’d just agreed to cause injury, possible felonies, and extortion.
I slowly pushed my underwear down, exposing my erection. Something had shifted between us, and something had changed in me.
Because of her.
I’d existed in a black void of emotions. Feeling anything meant remembering the fear clawing at mythroat. I wasn’t afraid. Her touch chased the demons from my mind.