Page 100 of Blue

“She did. The city cemetery.” Ryatt tugged on his gloves. “She liked to read death dates on the headstones.”

Brad started his bike. “I can almost hear her calling us morbid, then laughing because she’d love it.”

Kiss gave her a quick lesson on riding pillion and demonstrated how to climb onto the bike. She rested her hand on my shoulder, threw her leg over, and wrapped her arms around me.

“You can hold his shoulders, his waist, or rest your hands on the tank in front of him,” she said to Georgia.

Brad turned his head to talk to her. “We’ll go easy, just press in close so your body follows mine.”

She nodded and grabbed onto him.

Ryatt pulled out first, followed by Brad and Georgia.

Kiss leaned in. “Thank you.”

I ran my hand along her flank. “I got you, babe.”

And I’d be there for her friends because she needed them as much as they needed her.

Kiss

I’d only known Janie for a day, but I’d felt a connection with her. With a few words, she’d made me feel safe, and she’d made me want to stay for the meeting. But it was more than that. She’d represented everything I wanted for myself.

What went through her mind? What justification did she have to decide one more time? I guess that was the takeaway from the day. Staying clean didn’t mean the reasons I used were going to go away.

The day of reckoning was coming, and I’d have to deal with my past. While at the cemetery, Georgia had told us more about Janie and her family, specifically her father. She hadn’t wanted the gifts and money for her sobriety. She’d wanted his acceptance.

Something Georgia said kept running through my mind. Janie got high to punish her dad. It hit hard because I remembered days when I needed a shot, was dope sick to the point of wishing I was dead, and I’d curse my dad in my thoughts. If he didn’t want me to turn out like my mom, he shouldn’t have died.

I closed my eyes, and I could almost hear his voice whispering to me in the roar of the motorcycle.

“It was my choice,” I whispered back. “And never your fault.”

Blue pointed two fingers down as a goodbye to the other two riders, and we split off from Brad, Georgia, and Ryatt and rode toward the community center. He tapped my thigh, I held on tighter, and he rolled the throttle, hitting the RPMs hard.

He weaved between cars, and a rush of adrenaline flowed through me. Riding with Blue was the most exhilarating feeling in the world, better than being high, better than black—I smiled—almost as good as being naked and pressed against him.

Blue slowed the bike, rode through the community center parking lot, and stopped in the slot next to Jazzy’s car.

He killed the engine and dropped the kickstand as I slid off the bike. “I gotta be at church tonight,” he said.

Church was held every Friday night at the MC. The board would meet to discuss club business and vote on issues. Tonight was a major event for the club. Jazzy was the only female patched member of the club, and now she’d be on the board.

But I was on probation. “Do you think I can be there?”

This was his club, and I wanted everyone to know I was his girl.

He squinted into the fading sunset. “I don’t think that’s the issue. This is about you. You just lost a friend.” He slid off his bike, took my hand, and leaned against the driver’s side door. With a widespread stance, he pulled me to stand between his legs. He rested his hands on my hips. “The chapel is going to be full of drunk, high, rowdy Hellers. Romeo’s on the board. He’ll be there, and I can’t imagine Levi missing tonight.”

“I don’t know what to do.”

“Do you want to go?”

I nodded. “What if they don’t want me there?”

“I want you with me. I can’t miss church, but we don’t have to stay long.” He dipped his head and kissed me. “You’ll be next to me all night.”

I smiled against his mouth. “Okay.”

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