Page 86 of Blue

I chased the high, fought for the release, but felt the panic weaving in with the pleasure. I needed to come down her throat, to finish with her, to prove I wasn’t thesick fucking toy of Carl Douglas. To prove I was only hers.

But I wasn’t. I had a monster chained to me, infiltrating every fucking part of my life. No escape. I’d tried to outrun this shit, but it was always fucking right here, dragging me under.

Nausea roiled in my gut. Her mouth was beautifully swollen wrapped around my cock, but I wasn’t feeling her velvet tongue. Poison seeped into my thoughts, coursed through my veins, and ate at my soul.

I was never going to be okay because I’d never forget the sick twisted corrosion ofhismouth—ofhistouch. This was fucking hell. “I can’t do this. Fuck. I’m sorry.”

A painful wail ripped up my throat, breathed fire through my body, and exploded out of me. Kiss jerked back, the passionate blue of her eyes bleeding into a terrorized stare.

“Blue?”

“Fuck,” I screamed. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”

Tears burned in my eyes. My body trembled. I tucked my flaccid dick back into my jeans.

“I’m so fucking sorry, Kiss. I never should’ve started this. Never should have believed I could get out of here.” I bashed my fist against the side of my head. “It’s a fucking prison. I can’t fucking do this to you.” My jaw clenched, my teeth grinding to the point I could barely speak.

“Red light, baby.” She hesitantly stepped toward me. Tears streaked her face, her lips trembled, and her voice softened to a whisper. “It’s okay to be at a red light.”

A stunning woman, pussy ripe and wet, aching for dick, and I couldn’t fuck her. “Don’t touch me. Fuck. I’m sorry.” I couldn’t yell at her, the one bright spot in a darkfucking life. I put my hands up and took a step back from her. “You don’t want this.” I dragged my hands down my face, drying my tears. “I’m sorry, baby. You can’t fix me. I can’t fucking fix me. He broke me a long time ago.”

She stilled. “Who broke you?”

Kiss

The façade cracked. Blue wasn’t just broken, not like me, he’d been in survival mode, and I was fucking losing him.

“Don’t go,” I begged.

He became frantic, his hands trembling as he searched his pockets for his keys.

“You shouldn’t ride when you’re this upset.” I grabbed a dirty T-shirt from the basket on the floor and tugged it on.

“I gotta go.” His strained voice sent sharp shards of fear through my chest.

“Please stay.”

Tears shimmered in his eyes. His mouth pulled into a hard line. “I’m sorry.”

He stomped on his boots, didn’t bother tying them, and walked out of the room. I followed him.

“I know you don’t trust me,” I said. “But I trust you. You can’t hurt me, not unless you walk away.”

He paused at the door. “Walking away is the only way I don’t hurt you. I’m fucked up, Kiss.” He glanced over his shoulder. “If you trust me, then trust that I know you’re better off without me.”

The painful stare of the man who saved me left me shattered. I whispered the words of my heart, hoping they would heal his. “I love you.”

His hand paused on the door handle. “I wish you didn’t.”

I recognized that this was the moment I lost him. His words hung in the air, even after he’d closed the door.

I stared at the empty space. He left.

I couldn’t breathe.

He left.

Inside, I splintered into a million fucking pieces. Nothing had ever hurt this bad.

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