There had to be a reason Blue never talked about where he came from and about his family. After I told him my dad was dead, wouldn’t he have said something about his parents? If they were dead, he would have. They had to be estranged for a reason. Maybe he was gay and afraid to say anything. I didn’t know a Heller who didn’t talk about pussy…except Blue. No one in the MC would care, not with Blade as president and my former friends on the board. Sheesh, Jazzy was patched.
She returned to the table. “Give him a few days. This is obviously a lot for him to handle, too.”
“What about the holes in the wall?” We’d seen the bathroom. He’d left his mark. Rogue wasn’t known for keeping his composure with others. Blue getting upset and punching a wall was going to piss Rogue off. “I don’t want to cause Blue any more trouble, and it really was my fault.”
“Baby girl, you have enough of your own problems. You don’t need his, too. You kiss boys. Blue knows that. Besides Rogue will be more worried about Blue than thewall.” She checked her phone. “He should be here soon.”
“What about Blue? Can he still stay with Sully?”
Jazzy pivoted to me. “I don’t know. I guess it depends on you. He’s not helping in your recovery.”
Actually, he was. Without him, there wouldn’t be any recovery at all. If Jazzy needed to know where my head was at, I’d tell her. I wasn’t just getting clean, I was also coming clean. Lying was so much easier.
“I can’t stop thinking about black. I know I have to stay away from needles. I wouldn’t trust myself to be in a room with it even though, right now, I tell myself I’m not going to use. I just wish I didn’t feel like shit. My head hurts, but I know this is about getting through the worst. I feel like I have the flu.” Chills followed the sweats. I wasn’t feeling sick to my stomach, but I didn’t want to eat.
And now my stomach tumbled because I worried about Blue. Jazzy offered me a couple of Tylenol PMs. I popped two and snuggled into the couch. Sleeping away this horrible feeling sounded like a good idea to me.
Chapter Five
Kiss
During the night, whispers sounded from the far side of the darkened room. I held still, pretending to be asleep, straining to hear Jazzy and Rogue.
“Blue never came back to the shop.” Rogue sighed. “I’m not going to lose him to a junkie.”
“And I’m not going to lose Kiss to heroin,” she whispered harshly. “So, what do we do? Do we try to keep them apart?”
“Are they together?” Rogue asked. “Is he finally getting his dick wet with Kiss?
“I don’t know. She says nothing happened between them, but I don’t believe her. Something happened because we know Blue. He doesn’t fight.”
I hated that she couldn’t trust me, but she was right to be skeptical. Manipulating to get what I wanted came easy for me. I wanted to change. I was trying.
“He has a gift for finding trouble.”
Jazzy laughed. “Because he’s a Heller. Trouble finds him.”
“Trouble found him, and she’s asleep on the couch.” Rogue growled. “The kid is killing me. He’s smart but has shit for common sense. He’s making mistakes and taking unnecessary risks. If he doesn’t get himself killed, he’s going to find himself locked up.”
“Then you need to stay close to him,” Jazzy said. “Kiss needs time. She can’t depend on Blue to keep her clean, and Blue…” She paused for two beats of my heart.
Blue what?With her lowered voice, I couldn’t hear the rest of her mumbled words.
“Between the shop and the studio, I’ll keep Blue busy.” Rogue’s gravelly voice lowered. “You owe me, princess.”
“How do you want to collect?” Fabric rustled, and the squelch of mouths coming together sounded in the room.
Oh hell. I loved Jazzy, but if she fucked Rogue while I was in the room, I’d definitely need more than a Tylenol PM. Not that I’d want to do black. I mean, I wanted black, but I wanted Blue more. Even if I could only be his friend.
Actually, no, I’d rather listen to Rogue fuck Jazzy than know Blue was with someone besides me.
Soft moans followed breathy pants. I held still, but my heart raced. The kissing continued. Rogue groaned, and Jazzy hissed. More sounds of two people desperate to touch each other. My breaths matched hers. Faster. Shallow.
I imagined Blue next to me, whispering the filthy words I ached to hear.
“You’re soaking my hand.” Rogue’s words tightened my nipples.
“Because I need you to fuck me.”