Page 126 of Blue

I wasn’t really hungry, but I wasn’t ready to talk yet either. Not in the car.

I pulled off the highway at the small trailer taco stand. Several cars were parked in the gravel lot. I parked at the end of the row, and we walked up to the faded pictures on the side of the building. When it was our turn to order, we grabbed a few tacos, drinks, beans, and rice.

“To go,” I said to the woman taking our order.

She nodded, hollered to the guy cooking behind her, then pointed at me, and at her back to indicate the patch on my cut. “Tell Bullet to come see me. Sí?”

“Sí,” I said.

We stepped to the side to wait for our order.

“Are you doing okay?” I asked Kiss.

“Yes. He was nicer than I expected. I think it went okay. I didn’t expect a hug or an invitation to spend holidays with him. Ansel keeps reminding me to forgive myself, but it’s not easy. I hate who I was.”

I tipped her face to mine. “And I love who you are now.”

Her mouth split into a wide smile. “I love you, too.”

“Heller,” the woman called.

I rushed to the woman and lifted the box from her hands. “Gracias.”

Kiss came up beside me and grabbed our drinks.

“Come back,” she said and called out for the next customer.

We carried the food back to the car. Kiss slid the drinks into the drink holders between us. “Where are we going?”

“A little drive.”

“Can we eat in the car?”

I glanced around at the stained seats and the dirty floormats. “Don’t spill,” I said and laughed.

Kiss partially unwrapped a taco and handed it to me. A good song came on the stereo. She turned it up and danced in her seat as she opened a taco for herself. She hummed and chewed, and if I wasn’t already completely into her, I would’ve crashed head-on into love.

The miles passed in a blur. With the window rolled down, the wind whipping her hair, she smiled at me. I wanted to capture this moment, to hold on forever. But it was going to end. I turned off the interstate and was transported back in time.

The road curved and wound through tall trees. I’d called it a lake house, but there were mansions mingled in with small cottages.

I pulled onto the shoulder of the road. Fuck. I gripped my chest. Even taking a breath hurt with the slamming beat of my heart.

In the distance, sun glinted off a pristine blue lake. To the left was the specter of my nightmare, the skeleton in my closet, the reason for the hate tainting my blood. The small boathouse with the locking door. The secret.

I opened the car door and stepped out of the vehicle. I walked to the edge of the clearing. The other car door closed, and then Kiss came up beside me.

“It’s beautiful,” she said. “What is this place?”

I squinted against the sunlight. “The boathouse.”

She didn’t say anything. Words weren’t needed. Whatever reason had brought me here didn’t matter. She wouldn’t let me face my fears alone.

“I don’t know why I needed to come here.” I turned and headed back to the car.

Kiss slid into the passenger seat, and I climbed behind the wheel. But I didn’t start the car. A light wind whistled through the trees. Yet, it was still eerily quiet.

I took a sip of soda and stared at the boathouse. “I remember how scared I was to get caught alone. He had a way of finding me.”

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