Page 125 of Blue

“I know.”

“I don’t understand you,” he said. “I can’t watch you kill yourself.”

“I know. I’m so sorry. I’ve lied to you so many times. I’d promise to get what I wanted.” She released a shuddering exhale. “I’d steal.” The tears overfilled her eyes and spilled onto her cheek.

Her uncle got up to grab a tissue from the box and handed it to her.

“I know I stole your retirement.”

“You didn’t steal it. But you sure fucking wasted twenty years of my savings.”

“I was messed up. I know that doesn’t change anything, and it’s not an excuse. I never wanted to go to treatment.”

He grumbled and sat back down in the recliner. “Fifty thousand dollars, Shae. Fifty grand to save the little girl who had my heart. Fifty grand gone. And how much have you stolen from my house?”

She dabbed at her eyes. “More than I can ever repay.” More tears fell. “I’d tell myself I wanted to get clean, but the addict in me loves getting high.”

I couldn’t watch her cry and not comfort her. I strode across the room, sat next to her on the couch, and weaved my fingers with hers. She squeezed my hand.

“And how do you fit in?” he asked me. “Are you her dealer?”

A soft smile curled my lips. “Nah. I’m her boyfriend.”

Kiss’s entire body shuddered on a calming exhale. She worked at keeping more tears from her eyes. I know she saw them as weakness, but I found them to be cathartic for her. She was washing away the pain of the things she was leaving in her past. Her guilt, her addiction, and her emotional trauma.

She turned her attention back to her uncle. “I know I have a long road to recovery, but I’m not using, and I’m going to NA meetings. I’m taking responsibility for the mistakes I’ve made and the people I’ve hurt.”

He leaned back in the recliner and scrutinized her appearance. Maybe he was looking for the lie, but he wouldn’t find it. “How long have you been clean?”

“Not very long,” she whispered. “But it’s different this time.”

An indignant laugh huffed from his mouth. “I’ve heard that before.”

“I know,” she said. “And I know it’s hard to believe me now. But I’ll prove to you I’ve changed. You can even come to one of my meetings. They have a friendsand family night on the first Friday of the month at the community center.”

“I’ll pass. You’ve got a track record, Shae. I can’t afford to have a relationship with you. I’m not going to be around when you start using heroin again.”

She squished the tissue in her fist. “I understand.” She stood. “One day, I’m going to find a way to pay you back.”

John ambled out of the recliner. “Stay clean, Shae. And stay away from me. That’s how you repay me.”

She sniffed, dabbed the tissue under her nose, and nodded.

“We’ll go,” I said.

“If you really wanted her to stay clean, you’d stay away from her. Hellers have brought nothing but trouble to her. Killed her dad, turned her mom into a junkie. And made her one, too.”

As a response, I shrugged on my cut and led her out of the house. At the passenger door of the car, I wrapped my arms around her. She buried her face in my chest and trembled in my arms as she cried. I pressed my lips to the top of her head, then glanced up at the house. John stood at the window watching us.

I pivoted and opened the door. Kiss slid into the car. I stared at John as I walked around the front of the vehicle. I could only hope with time, he’d see he could have a relationship with her again.

Now, I had my own history to confront. Fifteen minutes after we’d left her uncle’s, Kiss realized we weren’t headed to Sully’s or the MC.

When I reached the outskirts of town, she asked, “Where are we going?”

“Bullet told me about a Mexican place. Are you hungry?”

She shrugged. “Okay.”

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