Page 96 of Untamed

Oh dear god.

There’s no hesitation. No apology.

“I’d bury his body and sleep like a fucking baby, Ember.”

His soft touch, a thumb brushing over my bottom lip, belies the utter violence of his words. “You understand me, little queen? Do you know what you give me? I don’t sharemy wife.”

It’s so very different hearing those words in real life, hearing the sincerity and devotion and knowing he means every word of his declaration.

His promise.

There is no choice, but he’s telling me what I’m getting into.

“One more thing.”

I don’t know if I can take another. I swallow and nod.

“You have to delete your account,” he says in a rush of heated words. “Now.”

My heart sinks. I close my eyes, fighting the rush of tears. I poured so much into that account. My identity as a romance lover is part of who I am. For the first time in my entire life, swooning over a shared love of all things romance makes me feel like I’m part of something bigger, a community of people who haven’t yet given up on dreaming and who still believe that everyone deserves to be loved passionately. That everyone deserves a happy ending.

When I open my eyes, he’s still staring at me.

Can I give up this part of who I am for what could be the real thing?

“I know,” I whisper. “I figured as much.” But when I pull up my account and see my friends, the notifications, the videos waiting to be watched, my heart aches. I feel like I’m losing an actual part of myself.

But I got in too deep. I took things too far. And now, I’m facing the consequences.

With trembling hands, I click the big red button and confirm the next step. I blink. A hot, fat tear rolls down my cheek.

“It’s done,” I whisper. My head falls to his shoulder. “And yours?”

He exhales. “It’s already gone. I should’ve known better. It was too risky.” My heart swells when he kisses the top of my head. “But I know it was harder for you than me, little queen.”

And then I’m crying. A part of me feels like it’s silly for me to react like this, but it isn’t just the account or the followers or even romance. I’ve severed a part of who I am and what I love, something I forged with my own two hands. I faced imposter syndrome and took risks. But I worked so hard, hours upon hours crafting the perfect videos and photos, reading thousands of books, distilling feelings, hopes, and dreams…

I’m still pressed against his chest, his arms wrapped around me. I drop my head to his shoulder and cry. It’s not just the account, it’s everything.

Shawn coming back into town and knowing he’ll be there when I go back home.

Meeting Rodion’s family and knowing what they think about me.

My choices going up in flames and being forced to make a life-changing decision.

Losing so much of what I’ve fought for, built…

His hand slides slowly up and down my back. Steady. Grounding.

And despite everything, I melt a little. The thoughts and fears begin to quiet. I didn’t know it could be like this.

“You didn’t lose it all,” he whispers into my hair, his voice low and rough. “You built it once, and you can build it again.”

I sniffle as he continues. “And you kept what mattered most.”

I look up to him. For the first time since we got here, his eyes are dancing with that familiar heat-laced humor that drew me to him to begin with. Rodion will never take life too seriously, and it’s the hottest damn thing I never expected to need.

“Oh?” I ask, my own voice lilting with humor. “What’s that?”

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