Page 7 of Worship Him

"I just... it’s about a lot more than simply telling him that he’s a father. I...I do have valid reasons for not telling him as soon as I knew."

I start pacing my apartment, my coffee cup forgotten on the kitchen table. "It’s not like I’m trying to be an evil and selfish ex here…I’m not too proud to admit that I’m scared. You know how powerful he is."

"That's why we've been delaying things for so long," Barrett reminds me. "To give you time to figure this out. But we're running out of excuses to stall. It’s going to become obvious that there’s more to the hold up."

I glance at Avery's crib through the open doorway and feel a pang of guilt. "You're right. I'll tell him soon."

"Soon needs to be very soon," he warns. "This divorce has already taken a year because of all the complications with your businesses and court dates. And if Adam finds out about Avery after everything's finalized..."

"He'll come after me with everything he's got," I finish for him. My stomach churns at the thought. Adam is nothing if not determined when he wants something.

"Exactly," Barrett says softly. "And as your friend, not just your lawyer, I don't want that for you."

I nod, even though he can't see me. "Thanks, Barrett. I'll figure it out."

"Just let me know when you're ready," he says before hanging up.

I stare at my phone for a moment before setting it down and returning to the kitchen to take a long sip of coffee. The warmth does little to ease the cold knot in my stomach.

"How did it come to this?" I whisper to myself.

I know the answer, but that doesn’t make me feel any better.

The worry about what will happen once Adam knows about his daughter makes the back of my throat go numb.

He’ll tell me how wrong I was to keep her away from him, and he’ll be right.

Still, it’s not a decision I made lightly. Hopefully, he remembers who I am and will understand my motivations.

Hopefully.

In the silence of my apartment, I can hear her stir in her crib, reminding me of what truly matters.

Barret’s early call also makes me feel the importance of not running away from reality for much longer. I know just as well as him that I can't keep avoiding this.

I put my coffee cup down, the creamy liquid no longer offering solace, and walk back into Avery's room, the soft light filtering through the curtains casting a gentle glow over her crib.

She sleeps peacefully, her tiny chest rising and falling with each breath. Her small fingers twitch occasionally, perhaps dreaming of some baby adventure—it melts my heart.

"Hey, little one," I whisper, brushing a stray dark curl from her forehead. "You have no idea how much you mean to me."

I can’t help but smile. Being a mother is everything I ever wanted and more, but it’s also a constant reminder of what I’ve been avoiding.

“Your daddy would love you so much,” I murmur. “And I know he deserves to know about you…eventually.”

Leaning against the crib, I watch her, marveling at how something so small can fill my heart with so much love and guilt simultaneously. She’s my world now, my reason for everything.

Yet every moment of joy is shadowed by the secret I carry, but the thought of telling Adam sends me into a tailspin.

It's not that I plan on never telling him. I'm just... delaying.

A big part of me wants to get through the divorce first, to have some semblance of control over this chaos. But Barrett won't let that happen, and I know he's right to argue against it.

I close my eyes, fighting back tears. The real reason I've kept Avery a secret gnaws at me every day. I know Adam—he's the kind of man who would drop everything to be there for his child and give her a family.

But trying to fix our broken marriage just for Avery isn’t fair to any of us.

Staying together for a kid's sake is a recipe for disaster. I've seen too many relationships implode because of that misguided sense of duty.

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