Page 28 of Testing the Kot'oll Officer

“Is it the job? Or something else?” Kendra tilts her head to the side with curiosity dancing in her eyes. It feels like I'm getting questioned, even though she means well. I think that has to do with how we are both police officers, we kind of talk that way without intending it.

But could I speak truthfully about my entanglement with Julie without sounding foolish?

“Just... work-related stress, mostly.” I shrug, brushing off the intensity of my feelings, even though the name lingers on the tip of my tongue.

Grihul scowls. "Look, I'm not a police officer, but I know you enough to know that you're hiding things from us."

Kendra smacks Grihul's thigh and shoots him a look. "It's okay." She turns to me. "You can tell us if you want to. Just take care, okay?"

I'm about to say something when the doorbell rings. Grihul stands. "Maybe it's Telke and Winnie." He calls to the kitchen. "I'll get the door."

Telke's my other brother, who's always happy and a wild ball of energy. Coincidence or not, also has a human mate.

Now, there is only Kendra and me on the couch. Like Julie, she's also a human, does that mean I can ask her about... my issue with Julie? Will Kendra know whether I've made a wrong decision?

But my whole family are kot'olls, and I can't figure out what's in the head of my brothers most of the time, so who's to say that just because they are humans, they'll understand each other? Kendra doesn't even live on this planet, nor does she know Julie.

I shudder when Kendra clicks her tongue. I lift my brows in question. She says, "I have a hunch on what's going on with you."

Is that a challenge? "Fancy a guess? Though I won't confirm or deny your guesses."

She laughs. "Sounds like you're really a police officer. But seriously, maybe it has to do with relationships, huh? With someone you care a lot about?"

I clear my throat. "What's with that baseless guess?"

"I thought you were to neither confirm nor deny."

I roll my eyes with a huff. "I want to know why the guess."

Grihul is busy chatting with Telke, or say, Telke's busy talking and that should keep Grihul away for a bit longer. Maybe I don't mind Kendra knowing, but not my other brothers, for unknown reasons.

Kendra says, "I've never been good at relationships either. But, at times, you just have to give it a go, okay?"

I narrow my eyes on her. Now that she has her mate, she thinks that she knows everything about relationships, huh? Not to mention she and Grihul had a super bumpy beginning that drove me mad at times. But... Kendra's a good being at heart.

She shrugs with a victory smile as if she thinks that she's right about her guesses. "You're a big guy, you know what to do."

I should. But do I?

Chapter 13

Julie

Am I fine?

I stare at the afternoon sky, not knowing where to go after my weekly animal shelter visit.

Actually, that's not hard to figure out. I don't have to go to my shift today, I swapped with someone else so that... I can just head home and take a rest.

In the sky, there are warm hues of orange and purple across the horizon. The world seems to glow, but the light feels distant, almost mocking in its beauty. The coolness of the air contrasts sharply with the warmth emanating from the fading sunlight.

Vatok was only here with me that one time, but it feels like he has been here and he isn't. If I close my eyes, I can almost picture him here, leaning against the counter, a half-smile creeping onto his lips as he uses all four arms to lift the animals and play with them.

The shelter's gardens overflow with wildflowers, their heads bobbing in the soft wind. I find an empty bench beneath a large tree, its crown gently shifts with the wind, inviting me to sit and simply breathe. I do. Dropping my head back against the bench, I close my eyes and listen to the soft rustling of the leaves.

For just a moment, it feels like I can be fine again, that I just need to be patient with myself.

Vatok and I... I was just delusional, thinking that if we didn't talk about it, our fake relationship would become a real one. But the truth is, I can't ignore the tug in my chest that pulls me toward thoughts of him. There was something between us, however fleeting. When did feelings become so complicated? The seconds stretch into echoes of laughter I can almost hear, memories of banters over glasses of cocktails, and the unspoken warmth that existed in the air whenever he was near.

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