Page 26 of Testing the Kot'oll Officer

“Look, it’s not that I don’t enjoy our time together.” He pauses, the brief moment of silence heavy on my shoulders. “But I need to focus on my responsibilities. More importantly, you deservesomeone who will love you. I can't always be around you, and for you to still find that someone."

A chill runs down my spine, and my heart drops. “Hey... I..."

“I think we are too different. Like... It's not supposed to be how it currently is, right?”

The words twist like a knife in my gut. “But we've been having fun, right?” I strive to add a note of hopefulness, but the tremor in my voice betrays me.

“It has been, but... feelings can complicate everything. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

I look around the bar, even as tears threaten to burst out of me. I hope no one sees this and thinks that I'm breaking up with Vatok, whatever that means when the two of us technically have never been dating.

“Okay,” I finally manage to say, my voice barely a whisper. “Thanks for your help that day. It means a lot.”

I don't need him.

I'd been fine before we pretended to be mates.

I don't need him.

I don't need anyone to be fine.

I grit my teeth, but bitterness wells in my stomach. Am I mad at him?

Except I don't even have ground to stand on to be mad.

There’s a painful silence between us, stretching longer than I want it to. My heart races, pounding loudly in my ears as I stare at the bar’s warped surface, its sheen reflecting the chaos of my internal struggle. Each word he said settles like stones in my stomach, heavy and unyielding.

“Julie,” there’s a tightness in his voice that further twists the knife lodged in my gut. “If I’d been clearer before—”

“No, it’s fine. I understand. You’re busy, and we... we were just pretending, after all. It was meant for that one time anyway.”

I squeeze my eyes shut, fighting against the bubbling tears in me. It gets hard to even remain seated on the stool without hunching over and cry.

I can’t let him drag this out any longer. “Look, I gotta go. My shift just ended and I need to clean up.” I cut him off before he can respond with anything that might hurt more than it already has. “Take care, Vatok.”

Before he can reply, I end the call.

Targoth's shadow looms again, this time with a knowing look that leaves me cold. My heart still thrums with leftover emotion, and I lock eyes with him, refusing to let him think he can inflicthis neediness on me. "Targoth, I’m not in the mood. Whatever you want, it's not happening."

His peculiar grin falters slightly, replaced with a confused tilt of his head. “Didn’t catch you in a good moment tonight, huh? I can see that.”

“Not even close. Seriously, just back off.”

He leans in closer, uninvited, even as the bar's atmosphere continues to buzz around us. “Maybe you just need someone who can really—”

“Not interested!” I snap. "Do you not understand the word ‘no’?”

He straightens his posture, momentarily taken aback. “Okay, okay! Just trying to brighten your evening.”

“Brighten it? Targoth, if you truly wanted to brighten anyone's evening, you would’ve noticed that I’m perfectly fine on my own. I don’t need a clown act.”

“Is that... is that jealousy I’m sensing?” His expression shifts to amusement, a flicker of mischief dancing in his eyes.

“Jealousy? Please, you’re not worth that.” I turn away from him, forcing myself to take a deep, calming breath.

He shrugs. "I suppose you can keep fooling yourself until you admit it to yourself. You deserve someone better."

I hiss at him, but he's leaving and won't see my glare. I do deserve better, it's not hard to find someone better than his ass.

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