Page 132 of Over the Edge

It’s immeasurably better than seeing people dance to my music. Here, we’re sharing this moment, one that I might be able to repeat, yet it can never be truly replicated. Love blooms from between my ribs. This is what I’ve been missing out on. These people. This feeling of being swept up in a collective experience that’s only possible because of them. I’m already addicted to the high, and I won’t be coming down any time soon.

“Hello, everyone, thank you for coming to Hartsfall’s 52nd Love Letter Festival.” My first few words come out as shaky as I feel. Singing old favorites is one thing, but what is coming next feels like handing over my heart. It’s scary, but it’s supposed to be, because I care. “I’ve been so lucky to spend my time here writing and becoming inspired. You never stop falling in Hartsfall. We have a few more surprises for you tonight. I have an album in the works, and it would be a shame to not share one of my favorite songs. So here is ‘Stop Falling’. I hope you enjoy it.”

There’s a swell of commotion, cheers and whistles cut through the air. Behind me Garrett moves from his cello to take over at the piano.

Darling, hold my hand on the knife’s edge.

Dance with me until we fall.

Spin me around again.

I won’t break apart. I won’t feel the fear,

As long as I’m the one you hold dear

Come with me over the edge.

Invite the rush of the wind and hope it never ends

Because I never want to stop falling, falling with you.

At the end of the performance my friends and family are waiting at the edge of the gazebo to be the first to talk to me. Avery’s security personnel, a burly man and a stocky woman both wearing casual clothing but are identifiable from their wide stances, are likely the reason there’s a good distance between us and the rest of the crowd.

My eyes sting and I stop holding onto the tears, good tears from my emotions overflowing and needing to find a way to leak out. Everyone waits their turn for hugs.

“Are you mad?” I whisper into my brother’s ear as he wraps his arms around me.

“Only that you have more Grammys than I do.”

“I’m just getting started,” I promise.

“Good.”

“If you’re ever ready, I want to write a song with you.” I brace myself as the words fall from my lips.

“The moment I am you’ll be my first call,” he agrees, and I’m hit with that same aching relief. We’ll get there, back to the place where we can talk through the songs we share. It might not be soon, but eventually is all I need.

I step away and look at Avery. I can tell she’s doing her best to not to say “I told you so,” but it’s right there in the curve of her smirk. If she did say it, she’d be right. The hug she gives me is absolutely bone crunching and an “oof” escapes my lips before I return the hug.

“I wouldn’t have any of this without you, you know?”

“I do, but you wouldn’t have any of this without you either. I just struck the match. You took it and lit the fuse,” she says.

“I’m ready to set the world on fire,” I promise, and she squeezes me tighter.

“You know this means you could open for us on tour at a show or two.”

“I would like that,” I say. I know it will take more than a simple yes to make it work. After today there will be a lot to juggle, but I’ll make the effort for her. Without her generous shove toward my passions five years ago I wouldn’t be here. I glance over to Garrett. This is the life that brought me into his orbit.

The air goes stiff as I turn to my parents. The last time we talked it wasn’t great. I said what I needed to but there’s so much more we need to discuss.

“Later,” Mom says, as if reading my mind. “Tonight is for celebrating. Tomorrow is for fixing things.”

“Thank you.” Tonight is the start of so many things and the end of others. My relationship with my parents has been frozen in time, locking me in their minds as sixteen for fourteen years. Time is finally starting back up and we’ll need to decide what that looks like together.

I shake my head as I turn to the final pair.

“I thought you both were desperate to get out of here. I ask you to stay and you say no. Garrett asks, and you come right back? Should I be worried I’m getting replaced?” I muse.

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