Page 59 of Over the Edge

I don’t count the happy birthday text I sent him in June, but maybe I should. In general, I haven’t texted him directly much since our break up, hoping to spare him the need to explain,Oh, she’s just a friend. Yeah, we dated three years ago and even lived together, but really, we’re only friends now and it’s not weird that she’s texting me.

Maybe if I put in more effort to our recent conversations, him being here, in a small town where I’m trying my damnedest to write an album that is in any way as impactful as the one he doesn’t know I wrote about our relationship, wouldn’t feel like some sort of karmic bitch slap.

“What are you doing here?” I ask, doing my best to sound natural. I don’t know if I can even remember whatnaturalis supposed to sound like. Are you even supposed to sound natural when your ex-who-is-also-still-your-friend and your best friend who you have been avoiding walk into a bar? Is it rude to sound natural?

“We thought this was a gas station,” he says, explaining more about this exact moment in time and less about his and Quinn’s proximity to Hartsfall.

“You know that’s not what she meant.” Quinn cuts a glance in Oliver’s direction.

“Well. I guess the truth is...” His hand reaches out to the side and grabs hers. For a moment discomfort pinches her features, then she looks almost sorry? That doesn’t make sense unless…

“You’re here. Like,together?” I ask, then trip over my next words. My heart does some Olympic level gymnastics in my chest, tumbling so violently that I’m hit with a wave of nausea. “I mean, that’s really cool…you two together. That makes perfect sense. You guys work so well together and you look great. I know it’s only been a few months since I’ve seen you but so much can happen. I mean, you could have dyed your hair or gotten a face tattoo or something. But this is so much better!”

The three of us were always close. With me gone maybe they got closer. And it’s not like I gave them any opportunities to tell me. The few times they asked to call I told them I was busy and would try later until they stopped asking. Is this what they wanted to talk about this entire time? It’s been three years since Oliver and I broke up, so it’s not like I have any claim over him or his dating life.

“Not that dying your hair is bad; it’s just it’s nice to see you both looking the same.” A hand lands on my lower back. The contact acts as a pause button for my rambling as a familiar warmth spreads through me.

“Hey,baby.” Two words and Garrett has sent me spiraling all over again, the moment of comfort evaporating. What feels like a kiss is planted at the top of my head and all I can focus on is staying upright. “You guys went to college with Eve. Quinn and Owen, right?”

For the first time in my life I empathize with an overheating computer screaming for proper air flow. God, I need to get outside and jump into freezing water or something to stop my skin from feeling so tight.

“Oliver,” I correct as I swallow the very important question of What the hell Garrett is doing?

Quinn shifts closer to Oliver and rests her head on his shoulder. She’s stiff, but she’s never been big on public displaysof affection. She’s always been slow with her relationships, cautious.

How can they be this serious already?I ask myself, as if it’s only been one month since I last saw them instead of seven.

Oliver squeezes her hand, and she relaxes slightly into his touch.

“Yeah, college,” Oliver confirms, seemingly unfazed.

Garrett’s arm slings around my waist and I step back so my back rests against his hard chest. “Welcome to Hartsfall. Where are you two staying?”

“If we can manage to not get lost again, The Ives Inn,” Oliver says.

“Cute place for couples.” Garrett nods.

Couples. I might throw up. I might throw up and then never be able to show my face here again.

“Yeah, it looks like it. We were lucky they had a spot,” Quinn says. “Evelyn, you guys look cuter in person.”

“In person?” I squeak.

“Yeah, the pictures you sent,” Quinn explains. “From the farm.”

“Pictures. Yeah, I remember.”Shit.

“It’s good to see you.” Quinn gives a hesitant smile before looking to the side at Oliver. “We should get going. If you could point us in the direction of an actual gas station so we don’t have to leave our rental on the side of the road somewhere that would be great.”

I tune out the conversation as Garrett gives them directions. I need to get out of here. I need to run, but I can’t look like I’m running. I said that I’m good with them being together, so I have to act like I mean it, even if I’m not sure how I feel.

“You guys should tag along with our plans tomorrow,” I blurt, because I’m excellent at self-preservation.

“Oh,” Quinn stammers.

“That would be fantastic. We didn’t have anything planned,” Oliver beams. It’s oddly comforting that in this moment where everything feels flipped on its head that he still manages to make everything sound like the best idea.

“I’ll send you details,” I promise. I will send them. I just have to figure out what the hell those details are going to be. I originally planned on taking Garrett to a pottery class, but I’ll have to check and see if there’s more space.

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