Page 53 of While We Waited

Sophia giggles. “He does mind but you enjoy it when he punishes you.”

Chloe doesn’t deny it and, despite myself, I’m intrigued.

Maya clasps my hand. “What do you want to do today? Anything you want, we’ll do. Mermaid midget golf,Mermaid Mystical Gardens, boardwalk, beach. You name it.”

I squeeze her hand. “It’s sweet but I think I prefer to be alone.”

She frowns. “Why did you come into work then?”

“Because she didn’t want to tell Hudson about today,” Paisley guesses.

Sometimes it’s really annoying having a smart friend.

“If you’re not ready to tell Hudson, you don’t have to,” Maya says. She hands me her car keys. “But please don’t speed, and make sure to avoid Sammy.”

I accept her keys. “How can I avoid Sammy? The seal goes where he wants.”

“You could download the Sammy spotting app.”

I roll my eyes. “I’m a Smuggler. The app is for tourists.”

Since Sammy has become a celebrity due to videos tourists have posted online, the local tourist board developed an app for him. Tourists can add in sightings of the seal, but most tourists use the app to find Sammy.

“At least promise you won’t run him over.”

I gasp and clutch her keys to my chest. “I would never run Sammy over.”

“I don’t like this,” Paisley declares. “Nova shouldn’t be alone today.”

“Thank you for your support, Paisley, but I want to be alone.”

“It doesn’t mean you should be alone.”

“I promise I’ll be back in a few hours. I just need…”

I trail off. I don’t know what I need. It’s been more than a decade since Mom passed away but on each anniversary of her death, my grief feels fresh. I’ve learned to live without her but the pain of the loss is especially sharp today.

Maya hugs me. “Go. We’ll be here if you need us.”

I suck in a breath to keep the tears welling in my eyes from falling and step out of her arms. “Thanks.”

I wave as I exit the brewery. Maya’s car is parked in one of the owner’s spots. I beep the doors unlocked but before I can get inside, the door to the brewery flies open.

“If you’re gone for more than four hours, we’re coming after you.” Maya doesn’t give me a chance to respond before going back inside.

I’m not surprised she gave me an ultimatum. There are limits to my friends’ patience. I switch on the engine and back out of the spot. When I turn around, I notice all four of my friends are standing at the front window watching me.

Four hours? I’ll be lucky if I get two before they send out a search party. In the previous years, they’ve dragged me to theRumrunnerfor shots of whiskey. But not this year. This year I have little Sprog.

Sprog. A child my mom will never meet. She’ll never meet her grandchild. Tears flow down my cheeks and I let them. I know from experience there’s no stopping the grief on the anniversary of her death.

I drive aimlessly around the island for a while until I find myself in front of the cemetery. I’m not surprised I’m here. I visit Mom and Dad at least four times a year, if not more.

Guilt swamps me when I realize I haven’t visited since my night with Hudson over two months ago. I hop out of the car and make my way to the flower shop next door where I buy a bouquet of pink tulips for Mom and a bunch of wildflowers for Dad.

Mom loved tulips. Dad bought her a bouquet at least once a month. But there was no schedule as to when he’d come home to surprise her with her favorite flowers or a box of fancy chocolate.

They were deeply, madly in love. I want what they had. Even if I can only have it for a short time like they did. I don’t want to compromise and be with someone who’s only interested in me because I’m having his baby. It doesn’t matter if I’m falling for him. A one-sided relationship is certain to bring misery.

---