Page 111 of Tamed By You

She starts jogging on the spot excitedly, her long, dark ponytail swaying side to side. “Great, because it’s good to get those steps in first thing. Really gets the metabolism going. I’ll go get ready and we’ll leave in ten?”

I nod and give her a thumbs up, taking another sip of my Juice.

She claps in delight. “Let’s go, team,” she cheers, jogging backward until she’s out of sight down the hall.

“The woman’s a walking encyclopedia and has far too much energy. Who is that peppy first thing in the morning? I need whatever she’s having.”

I lift the glass, “I think it’s the juice,” I joke, and his face contorts again. “Now’s the time to save yourself,” I whisper.

“You don’t have to tell me twice.” He jumps off the stool, jogging over to the couch, throwing on his black sweater, slipping on his white sneakers, and picking up his overnight bag.

I get up and head over to our apartment door.

“Thank you for staying over, you… you didn’t need to, you know,” I mumble, awkwardly wrapping my arms once again around my waist.

“Hey, it’s never any trouble. I like being here, you know, in case you need… me.”

I always need you, is what I want to say, but all I manage is, “Thank you.”

We stand there, locked eyes, silent, just staring. I want him to hold me, kiss me, but I know he won’t, even if he wants to. He said I am in control; I am in the driver’s seat, and he’s been aman true to his word. Not once has he tried to push past the limits that I am comfortable with. We are going at my pace, but god do I miss the old us, the way we would bounce off one another, the laughter, the affection. I am now battling with my heart, my head and my fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of being unwanted.

Don’t let the fear win.

“I better go before Miss Motivator comes back and drags my sorry ass on her marathon.”

I laugh a real belly laugh. A sound I haven’t heard in what feels like forever. This is what he does. This is how he makes me feel. He brings out a side of me that I thought I had lost. I am starting to realize that I fought him for so long because he scared me; he made me feel a type of way no one else has. I like who I am when I am around him. I’m happy. A pang of sadness hits me as he reaches for the door handle. I don’t want him to leave.

“It’s good to hear you laugh,” he says as smiles down at me.

“I’ll, umm call you later.” It comes out more of a question than a statement, but he nods.

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

He leans in as if he were going to kiss me and I freeze. Not from fear, not nerves, I’m not sure why. Maybe surprise. He goes for my cheek, but then I move we narrowly miss each other’s mouths.

“Oh, for god’s sake,” I hiss, taking his face in my hands, I press my mouth to his. It lasts for just a few seconds, but in those few seconds, it felt like the world stopped. A fire that had long been blown out now reignited in my belly. I break the kiss, still embracing his face in my hands. He stands wide eyed, with what I hope is a good reaction. A familiar grin spreads across his face, and I smile back, stroking the pads of thumbs across his jawline, loving how his stubble feels under my skin.

He clears his throat as I drop my hands, suddenly feeling a little embarrassed at my actions.

“I um, better go.”

“Bye.” I smile the biggest, most genuine smile I have had in weeks.

He winks as he walks through the door. Warmth spreads across my body, and it feels good. I don’t feel hollow and empty, I finally feel a little of the old me come back and god does it feel good.

I bend over, bracing my hands on my knees, chest heaving as I stop to catch my breath in the middle of a bustling sidewalk in New York. “Gabs, I don’t think I can go any further,” I pant, gasping for my next breath.

“Yes, you can. Just a little more to go. Maybe another mile and we are done,” she says, barely breaking a sweat as she jogs on the spot.

“Babe, I’m 5ft 3 and I can barely run the length of myself let alone a mile. I think you need to lower your expectations.”

“Come on, we can do this. Ria is meeting us at our coffee spot.”

“Lucky bitch gets out of this godforsaken run,” I huff, leaning up and stretching my back.

“Hey, I’m not arguing with a pregnant woman, but after this run and the Pilate class you will be thanking me later, let's go.”

We jog slowly, side by side as I pant, “We’ll see about that.”

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