Page 116 of Tamed By You

“It is my understanding that Mr. Andrews has been a model prisoner, that he conducts himself in such a way he has become eligible for an early release, but see, that’s the thing about Mr. Andrews. Like the woman who stood before me today, I was primed to be pretty. Trained to be the perfect version of myself. To never put a foot wrong or speak out of turn, so it comes as no surprise to me that the man who taught me to be fake has manipulated the system into believing he is a changed man. I have no doubt in my mind that Mr. Andrews will use his power to take advantage of another young person should an early release be granted to him.”

“Before you make your decision today, please ask yourself this. Why should this man be rewarded for breaking the law? Where is our reward? The ones who had their choices stolen from them. Where is our early release from the daily battles that we face due to his actions? For us, it is a life sentence and I ask that you deny this man the ability to be able to offend again.

“And Mr. Andrews…” I turn my body to face him. Determined that one of the last things he sees today is me. I want to show him that he may have broken me temporarily, taken my youth, but I won’t allow him to steal my future.

He lifts his head, and his green eyes meet mine, the eyes that have kept me awake at night for so many years. Ones that wereonce filled with evil now look vacant. His sallow-looking skin now ageing him beyond his fifty-five years. He looks pitiful, a shell of his former self and a little fire in my belly re-ignites, knowing he’s suffering and it's all the courage I need to utter my next words.

“Peter, Pete.” I practically spit his name and narrow my eyes, determined he will look right at me as I say, “Just to be clear, we didn’t win…I won.”

The minutes feel like hours, days even, as we wait for their decision. I anxiously twist at the ring on my middle finger, and then rub the pendant of the necklace that Harry gave me, needing to do something with my hands to distract me. Our case worker asked us to stay in the courtroom whilst the decisions were made, so they could explain how the next part of the hearing would go, and the rest of the viewing gallery went outside. I don’t take in what they say. It all sounds like white noise to me. All I can think about are my words. Were they enough, will he walk away from this courthouse a free man, or will he return to the cell that’s been his home for the last fifteen years?

“Penny for your thoughts.” Grace’s soothing voice echoes around me, bringing me back to focus.

“I don’t think you want to know,” I huff.

“You did great.” I look at her and smile.

“You too. I just hope it’s enough.”

A loud bang startles us as the panel and the judge, along with Peter and his lawyer return to the room. I turn behind me,shoulders sagging in relief when I see familiar faces have also returned to the room.

Grace’s hand slips into mine and I clutch it tight. I may not have seen Grace in over fifteen years, but in this moment, I feel connected to her. We share a bond, part of a club no one wants a membership for. But all we can do is hold each other up in this moment.

The judge begins to talk. The more he talks, the further away he sounds. It’s muffled and I don’t take in anything until the words “Parole denied” are uttered and my body sags in relief and I fall into Grace. She sobs against my shoulder, wrapping her arms around me, and I do the same to her. Clinging to each other as we process those words.

“We did it, Grace, we did it.”

The next moments pass by in a blur of hugs, tears and handshakes with our caseworkers. As much as I feel a bond and pull to be with these women right now, there is a stronger force pulling me towards a certain person that I hope is waiting for me on the other side of that door.

“Don’t be a stranger, Ali,” Grace pleads, her tear-stained face still looking every bit the perfect beauty queen that she is.

“I won’t,” I promise, clutching her hands in mine.

“I go to a therapy group. I think it would help you if you were interested?”

“I’ll think about it, for sure, thank you, but I promise to call.”

“You better.” She chuckles as I pull her in for a final hug, before turning on my heel and heading up the courtroom aisle.

I burst through the doors, frantically looking between the crowds of people bustling past, and then I see him. Hands in pockets, head hung low. I take two steps and it’s as if he senses me. His head springs up and a smile that has my heart fluttering spreads across his face. He charges towards me as I hurry to reach him, not questioning anything because I know I don’t needto. He did everything he promised he would. He didn’t leave, not once. I throw my arms around him, his muscular arms encasing my tiny frame, holding me so tight and lifting my feet off the ground.

“You did it, baby. I’m so fucking proud of you.” His words are everything and all I need. He sets me back down on my feet and I pull back to look at him. His gorgeous blue eyes sparkle with pride, and I don’t think, I just do.

I press my lips to his and sink into his touch. His hands embrace my face, warmth spreading through me, awakening every nerve and parts of me that have been dormant for so long. It’s true what they say, it’s always darkest before the dawn and in this moment, it feels as if I am seeing the light in full color for the first time in a long time and it's because of him.

We break the kiss and arms and hands surround me, huddling us in one big hug. Looking up, I am surrounded by Ria, Jack, Gabby, and Brad. I have never felt so loved, so wanted, so free.

Chapter Fifty-Five

Ali

I won, we won. The words have replayed over and over in my head the entire journey home. I reassured everyone I would be fine and told them to get back to work. All of them listened, except Harry, and truthfully, I’m glad he didn’t. I’m not ready to be alone yet, to be without him.

We head back to my apartment, a place I have avoided as much as I can. I haven’t stayed here in weeks. It now holds too many awful memories. A place that was once my safe haven is now tainted with some of the worst nights of my life. But I refuse to let him take anything else away from me. Seeing him today helped me realize how far I have come. I will never forget what he did to me, what they took from me. But I won’t let them take another thing. I will feel safe in my home again, but there is something else, a part of me and Harry I fear has been lost,something we won’t ever be able to get back. It was such a huge part of who we were, how we connected. But what if it’s different now? Maybe it is, and maybe that’s a good thing. There’s only one way of knowing and I am done letting my fear hold me back.

New York looks beautiful this evening: an orange glow in the sky reminiscent of the sun rising at dawn. We work side by side, washing and drying the dishes, music playing in the background. We ordered takeout from a local Italian restaurant and got my favorite cheesecake from Bella’s Bakery. We played cards and watched movies. It’s been the perfect way to spend the day. Since hearing the words parole denied, it’s felt like little pieces of me have been put back together as the hours have ticked by. I had done so much healing over the last fifteen years. This was just a minor setback. I am not where I was fifteen years ago. Now I have love and support. A team of people willing to stand by me, go to war for me, and I’d do the same for them.

I feel like the past month or so has all been about me, and I want to change that.

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