Page 69 of Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang Us, Daddy

Once Meadows has a squeaky-clean tongue, he wipes his wet mouth with his sleeve and glares at Daddy. I’m shaking like a leaf, because I’m genuinely scared Meadows is going to kill him.

“Who the fu—” He stops himself, swallowing down the four-letter word like cold beer after a long day at work—or whatever the hell heterosexuals drink to unwind. “Who the hell do you think you are?”

“I believe we’ve already covered this, but I’m Nate St. James, and those are the men I love. You will behave like a gentleman in their presence. Is that understood, son?”

Meadows’ icy demeanor fades, and to my surprise, a smile settles on his face. “You’ve got balls. I’ll give you that.” He turns and glances at us. “Fine. I’m sorry for swearing in front of you both. I hope you’ll forgive me.”

“Forgiven!” Benji and I quickly shout. When I look over at him, Benji doesn’t seem nearly as worried as I am. If anything, he looks drunk on lust. His eyes are locked on Daddy’s ass, and he’s holding his bulge, discreetly tugging his cock through his shorts.

Kincaid hands Benito back to Meadows, and once we’re all in the foyer, Meadows pauses, turning to face us. “As I said, you won’t see him again. Any final words?”

Tatum surprises me by approaching first. He’s been quiet through most of this, and when he reaches Benito, that doesn’t change much. “Hope you cry, hope you die,” he whispers, then sniffles. “Hope it hurts so bad you don’t ever recover.” Closing his eyes, Tatum takes a step back. The moment he pauses, Kincaid scoops him into his arm and slides his finger between Tatum’s cheeks, then into his hole. Tatum melts into Kincaid, clinging on for dear life.

“What about you, boys?” Daddy asks. “Do you want to say goodbye?”

I don’t have anything left for Benito Blankenship, and he doesn’t have anything left for me, so I shake my head. “No, sir.”

Daddy beams at me. “Good boy, Bennet. What about you, Benji?”

Benji stands in front of Benito, cupping his cheek. Benito leans into the touch, and I have to resist the urge to rip Benji’s hand away. This is what my boyfriend needs to heal, and I want him whole more than I want anything else in the world.

“I hope you get better, Benito. I hope you don’t hurt anyone ever again.” He leans down and kisses Benito’s forehead, sending a protective spike right up my spine. “I forgive you, if it helps. I don’t think I’ll ever forget, but I forgive you.”

“Why?” he croaks.

“Because I loved you once. Did . . . did you ever love us back? Even if it was just a little. Only, I remember a lot of good times at the beginning, but then you got mean. Was any of it ever real?”

He stares at Benji through his sunken, weary eyes. “Benji.” He closes his eyes like he can’t bear to look at Benji. There’s a tear dripping down his cheek, slipping lower and lower until it falls from his face and lands on Meadow’s arm. Whatever Benito’s wanting to say goes unsaid when he turns away from Benji and buries his face in Meadows’ chest. “Just kill me,” he whispers. “Please? Just get it over with.”

“Oh, Benito. Where’s the fun in that?”

CHAPTER 16

NATE

My son—the biological one—is an emotional wreck. Tatum’s been sitting in Abi’s lap for the last hour, letting his hurt pour out like raindrops. I tried to console him after Meadows left, but he refused to pry his face away from Abi’s chest long enough to look at me. The Bens aren’t taking it nearly as hard as Tatum is, but that didn’t stop Bennet from crawling into my lap the moment Meadows and Benito were gone. Benji’s beside me, one arm wrapped around me, the other around Bennet. Abi and I share a few concerned glances, but his main focus—as it should be—is on his husband. Seeing Abi take control and consoling my son removes any worry I might have about him living so far away, because I know he has Abi to look out for him, the same way I look after the Bens.

After Meadows and the monster left, Benji rushed upstairs and grabbed all of our Build-A-Bears, tucking one under Bennet’s arm before setting my bearlike-Ben stuffies at my side before plopping his butt back in my lap. Bennet and Benji played with their bears for a while, occasionally tossing one across the room until one of them made a mad dash to collect it, cackling like schoolboys while Tatum watched with amusement in his teary eyes.

When Bennet had to go pee, I placed Benji on my knee and sang “Ride a Little Horsey” to him, kicking my leg out and letting him slide down my shin a few inches as I cried, “Watch out horsey, don’t fall down!” That earned me an even warmer smile from Tatum. The longer he watches us, I think the more at peace with the situation he becomes.

A few hours later, Tatum somehow commandeered both bears I bought for the Bens, and I’m a little worried, because my boys still haven’t heard the message I left them. He stares down at the twin bears like they’re the most precious things he’s ever seen. My eyes widen as I watch him squeeze the bear’s tummy, because when Tatum hears the message I recorded, I know all hell is going to break loose.

“Benji,” my voice crackles through the speaker. “My beautiful boy. I must be the luckiest man alive, because I can’t think of a single thing I’ve done to earn your love. I don’t know if I can ever be worthy of the way you look at me, all love-drunk with hearts in your eyes, but I’m going to try. I promise, Benji. Dad loves you.”

Tatum stares at the bear like its entire existence is impossible. Like he can’t believe the words that are coming out of its tummy. When he turns his attention to Bennet’s bear, my heart stalls in my chest. I want to scream out for him to keep his hand away from its stomach, but I can’t even open my mouth. It’s like I’m watching a horror movie unfold in front of me.

“Sweet boy,” my voice coos. “Daddy’s sweet, sweet boy. You don’t know how lonely I was before you boys came back into my life. You’re both the biggest, brightest part of my day, and while this is scary and confusing, I’m in this, son. I’m in it just as much as you. What you said earlier—about adopting you—as crazy as it sounds, I think I want that too. I want to spend the rest of my life with you boys. So, if that’s still something you’re interested in, I’m in. Daddy loves you, Bennet.”

Tatum’s eyes are locked on the bear, but the second the Bens start to whimper, he twists his neck to look at them. Bennet’s crying into my shirt, but Benji’s staring up at me in shock. His mouth opens and closes repeatedly like a fish out of water, but no matter how many times he tries to speak, nothing comes out. I hold them close, allowing them to process what they’ve just heard.

Bennet stands up, wiping his eyes. “Benji, I think we should give him the gift we bought at the mall.”

Benji nods in agreement, and it’s all the approval Bennet needs, because he rushes up the stairs, ignoring my pleas to be careful so he doesn’t fall and crack his skull. When he returns, he’s holding a small black box. I take the box from him and open it, and it’s like everything that isn’t Nate, Bennet, and Benji disappear from existence.

“Boys,” I croak, my voice raw with emotion. In the box is a heart-shaped necklace, silver, just like theirs. Well, I think theirs used to be gold, but the plating has chipped over the years, leaving only speckles of yellow here and there, like poorly placed polka-dots.

“Me and Benji share a heart,” Bennet says, holding his necklace. “And both halves belong to you, sir. Forever.”

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