Page 48 of Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang Us, Daddy

Benji sighs. “Oh, well. No great loss, I guess. I just don’t want to seem like we’re taking advantage of Dad. He’ll throw us away like everyone else.”

“Son?” Nate’s voice startles both of us. I didn’t even hear him approach. Slowly, we turn our attention to him, and my heart drops when I see his downturned expression. He kneels in front of us, and his beautiful bald head sparkles in the light. That old, bizarre urge to stare into his bald head like a crystal ball and play witches rears its head again, but I push that desire down. Maybe we can do it later, though. When I look over at Benji, he’s shaking, but his body steadies when Nate squeezes his knee. “I will never throw you away.”

Benji nods, but he still looks like a child that’s just gotten caught going through their parents’ private belongings when they weren’t looking. “Did you hear everything?”

He shakes his head. “Just the part about throwing you away.” His finger brushes back and forth against Benji’s knee. “If something is worrying you, I need you to tell me. That’s what we agreed on, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. I know it is, it’s just scary.”

“If you’re scared, I need you to tell me, baby. I don’t have your twin powers, remember?”

“You’re getting better at it though,” I say, wanting to lighten the mood. “Good Daddy.”

Nate blushes, and I know I just made him feel all warm and fuzzy. It sends my stomach spinning beneath my skin. “You think so?”

I nod. “The best Daddy.”

“It’s true,” Benji says. “You really are.”

“I’m really glad you boys think so.” Color floods his cheeks, making him look like a nervous virgin. “Now, will one of you tell me what’s got you so worried? Is it something I can fix?”The worry on his face is clear. It must be obvious to Benji, too, because he places his hand on top of Nate’s and squeezes.

“Bennet thinks you might be upset that we won’t let you buy us anything.”

“I’m not upset,” Nate clarifies. “I mean, I would love to treat both of you, but if it’s something that makes you uncomfortable, it’s fine. I promise.”

“But it would make you feel good?” I ask.

He’s got the warmest smile on his face when he looks at me. “Nothing makes me happier than caring for you. If you’d rather we come back after you get your first paycheck so you can use your own money, that’s fine too.”

“That’s the other thing,” I add. “We’re not sure we’ve even still got the job. We didn’t think of calling to ask Meadows for a few days off. He’s probably fired us already.”

Nate chuckles. “Buddy, I called him and told him you’ve both had a hard time with everything, and you needed some time to regroup. He said you can show up whenever you want.”

“Why would he do that?” Benji asks. “Why would he go out of his way for us?”

“From what I’ve gathered, he’s very close with Brody and Abi. He wants to take care of you, boys. Just like me. Well, either that or he has a crush on you.” Nate’s hand forms a fist at his side. “God help him if that’s the case.”

“Are you gonna beat him up, Daddy?” I ask, smiling at the thought.

“I’ll kick his butt from here to Timbuktu.” Dad stands up and points to his left. “Now, are you boys going to let me treat you or not?”

I hop up from my seat, thankful to have such a protective papa bear looking after us. His hand is empty, and we can’t have that, so I weave our fingers together and give him a squeeze. “I can’t wait.”

Benji’s next, standing up from his seat and taking Daddy’s other hand. “If it’s what you want, then let’s do it.”

We make our way toward the end of the mall. It’s been over a year since we’ve been here. After Tatum left our unhappy home, the monster didn’t let us go outside too much. Aside from working at the bar and our daily trips to the mailbox at the end of our yard, we haven’t spent much time in civilization. There are lots of loud noises all around. Bangs and clangs coming from inside various shops. Other customers talking as they walk past us, most smiling warmly at the sight of three grown men holding hands. Sure, they probably think he’s our dad, but that’s not the point. There are kiosk workers shouting sales pitches as we pass, and even a lady offering impromptu back massages for a small fee. We pass them all, and by the time we reach Nate’s destination, I’m shaking with nerves. Daddy must know his boy is struggling, because his grip tightens around my hand, and he leans down long enough to whisper, “I’ve got you, baby. You’re safe.”

Baby.

Every time he uses it, it feels like my heart’s going to explode. There’s so much care in his voice when he says it.

“Thank you.” I look up at him, and he’s got a beautiful smile stretched across his face. I want to make it stretch even wider. “Best Daddy ever.”

Nate leans down and kisses my forehead. “You ain’t seen nothing yet.”

When I look ahead to see where this first date is supposed to take place, I gasp. Benji sucks in a sharp breath when he sees it too. The Build-A-Bear Workshop. It’s one of our favorite places in the world. When it first opened, back when we were teenagers, we used to beg Mom to bring us, but she’d always push it off for later. Sometimes we would wait until she’d passed out from day-drinking and steal her car. We never had themoney to buy a bear, and after a few months of weekly visits where we never bought anything, the manager asked us to never return. It broke my heart, because Benji would spend hours looking at all the options. Touching every accessory available. Imagining what his perfect teddy bear might look like if he was ever able to afford one. Scarves, little bear gloves, shoes—Benji allowed his mind to run wild. It was his Disney World, and that world was taken away from him by the hateful heifer behind the counter with her stupid red hair and her ugly poodle skirt. She cracked Benji’s heart that day, and I’m going to get her back. One of these days, I’m going to take something she loves and crush it in front of her.

Benji sniffles, and it’s a sound that splits my heart in two.

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