Page 47 of Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang Us, Daddy

Tatum stares at us for a solid minute, not speaking, barely breathing. Eventually, he says, “Tell Dad I’ll be on the next flight to Dallas.”

“Tatum?” I question. Is he really coming down here to tell Dad he can’t love us anymore? He wouldn’t actually do that, would he? Does he think we’re trying to steal his dad from him? Is he worried we’re doing this to overthrow the hierarchy of his family? “You don’t have to call us Dad, if that’s what’s got you worried.”

“Ah, hell,” Bennet groans, falling back against the sofa cushion. “Here we go.”

Tatum’s eyes bulge. “You’re goddamn right I won’t be calling you Dad. You’re lucky I haven’t placed a hit on you for this. My husband’s an assassin. Did you forget about that while you were fucking my father?”

Okay, well now I’m getting angry, because death threats are uncalled for. “Nope. I don’t forget anything, unlike you. I don’t forget the people I love when my life starts unfolding for the better. You’re selfish, Tatum. You’re selfish, and you’re a jerk, just like your stupid friend Scotty.”

“Selfish?” he repeats, gaping at me as I nod. It’s been almost a year since I’ve spoken to anyone with this much bitterness peppering my tone. If Tatum were here right now, I’d pop him in the mouth and tell him to watch his hateful words.

“You don’t know how bad he’s been hurting. But then, how would you? You left us there with the monster. You didn’t even try to bring us with you when you ran away. Then you blasted back in our lives for a couple of weeks, only to fuck off backto Washington, leaving us all alone again. You haven’t seen or spoken to us in months. You’re damn right, you’re fucking selfish, Tatum.” I narrow my eyes. “And do you know what?”

He swallows, and I see a small hint of fear that will probably earn me an early death at the hands of his husband, but I don’t care.

“What?” he asks, his voice shaking.

“You really don’t want to play this game with me.”

“Is that a threat?”

“It’s a fucking oath. I swear to God, Tatum. If you even think about breaking us up, I’ll destroy you.”

“I’d like to see you try.” He’s attempting to sound threatening, but he’s still staring at me, looking frightened. His voice is small and broken when he adds, “If you ever threaten me again, I’ll sic Abi on you. He’ll kill you.”

“And just for that”—I narrow my eyes—“I’m going to fuck your father. I’m going to fuck every trace of heterosexuality out of your dad until he’s a cum-drunk mess of a man. And do you know what I’m going to do when I’m done?”

His jaw trembles. “What?”

“I’m going to ask him to adopt me just to drive the knife in deeper. I’ll be his favorite son, since you don’t seem to give a damn about the honor that title holds. You’re a selfish boyfriend, and you’re an even worse son. Do better. Be better.” Before he can respond—not that he would, judging by the tears in his eyes—I end the call and hop up from the couch. Bennet’s staring at me like I’ve just split the sea like Moses or something. “Come on. Let’s pick out something cute to wear. Dad’s waiting.”

CHAPTER 11

BENNET

When Nate said he was taking us on our first date, I didn’t expect him to take us anywhere fancy, but I’d be lying if I said I’m not a little disappointed by the venue he’s selected. He’s being awfully secretive about why he’s taken us to the mall, but he keeps telling us we can trust him, so that’s what I do. I put my trust in Daddy’s hands.

He claims to have something special planned, but Benji keeps dragging us into various shops, delaying Nate’s plans. The first thing we did after arriving was stop by one of the snack stalls where Nate bought us each a soft pretzel. He keeps dipping his pretzel in honey mustard, and every time he takes a bite, a little more mustard sticks to the corners of his mouth. I kind of want to lean in and lick it off, but we’re in public, so it’s probably not a good idea, what with this being the Bible Belt.

Store after store, Benji drags us both inside, roaming around looking for God knows what. For his part, Nate doesn’t seem terribly bothered by the way Benji keeps derailing whatever he has planned for our date. He just follows along, asking Benji if he wants any of the endless items he touches along the way. Each time, Benji shyly shakes his head. I know he’s nervous about Nate spending money on him, but Daddy looks genuinelycrushed each time Benji turns him down. Because Benji hasn’t taken him up on his many offers, I can’t bring myself to say yes, either. I don’t want to seem greedy.

When we pass the public restroom, Nate points at the sign, silently asking if we need to relieve ourselves. I’ve barely drank anything all day, so I’m good, and Benji shakes his head, sticking to my side like glue. Nate points at a small bench by the door and instructs us to wait for him. Once he’s out of ear shot, I squeeze Benji’s hand.

“Baby?”

He looks over at me with dreamy eyes. “Yeah?”

God. I really want to kiss him right now. Falling in love with your best friend is a surreal experience, and the way he stares at me like I’m God’s gift to the gay community makes my heart swell with pride.

“I think we’re upsetting Nate.”

His mouth falls open, making him look absolutely crestfallen. “What? How?”

“He wants to treat us, but we keep turning him down each time he tries. I think we should let him buy us a couple of things so he’ll feel better.”

Benji’s chewing on his cheek, staring past me, toward the bathroom door. “I don’t want him to feel like we’re using him for money. We haven’t gone to work in almost a week.” He bites his bottom lip, looking lost in contemplation. “Do you think we should have called Agent Meadows to tell him we weren’t coming in? Is he going to fire us?”

“I don’t know.” Honestly, it’s probably something we should have thought of. Contacting Meadows to tell him we needed a few days off to figure out this stuff with Nate, but it didn’t even register. “Probably.”

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