Page 44 of Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang Us, Daddy

Benji’s eyes widen. “What do you mean?”

“Daddy?” Bennet asks, refusing to break eye contact. My heart is racing, because hearing him let loose, showing me this side of himself I’ve never had the chance to meet, feels like I’ve been given the most precious gift in the world.

“Don’t,” Benji pleads. “Whatever you’re about to do—don’t do it.”

Bennet smiles cheerfully before looking at me. “Sometimes, when you’re asleep, Benji sneaks into your room and jacks off while he watches you.”

My cheeks are warm as I look at Benji’s horrified expression and the smirk settled on Bennet’s face. In my head, there’s an endless number of questions. How long has he been doing this? Does he simply ejaculate onto the carpet? Am I going to need to invest in a carpet shampooer? I open my mouth to ask all of them, but all I can bring myself to say is, “Well, I guess you won’t have to wait until I’m asleep anymore.”

CHAPTER 10

BENJI

Idon’t know what we did to make Dad upset, but he hasn’t spoken to us all morning. After everything that happened last night, I thought we were finally going to be happy, now I’m not so sure, and it’s eating me up inside.

After Dad gave us the green light, we slept right next to him in the big bed. Well . . . we started off sleeping on either side of him, but it felt wrong without Bennet beside me. Thankfully, that lasted all of two minutes before Bennet heard me sniffling and climbed over Dad to get to me, kneeing him in the nuts in the process. As Dad writhed and wriggled around on the bed in agony, Bennet straddled my lap and pressed soft kisses all over my face. Once Dad stopped acting like he was starring on a really bad soap opera, Bennet and I turned horizontally in bed, using Dad’s chest for a pillow. He was a really good pillow. Maybe even the best pillow. When we woke up, he was already downstairs.

Things feel different. Sure, he offered us both a quick peck on the lips when we came down, but then he asked us to give him space today, because he’s working through stuff in his head. He’s been locked in his room ever since. Now and then I can hear his feet travel across the floorboards above us, but for the most part, he’s been silent.

He must realize we’re scared, because he’s sent us texts every ten minutes reminding us this is real between us, and that he loves us. I don’t know what the problem is. We love him and he loves us. What’s left for him to work through?

Bennet’s been cuddling with me all morning. I think he knows how much I need it, so he’s refusing to leave my side. There’s an episode ofReal Housewivesplaying, but even Heather Dubrow and her glorious eyebrows can’t pull me out of this funk.

“He’s going to break up with us,” I whine, because it’s the elephant in the room and I’m sick of it occupying space. “He’s going to dump us, then we’re going to be homeless. We don’t have anyone, Bennet. What are we supposed to do now?”

“He’s not going to break up with us,” he says, probably trying to soothe me, but if that’s his goal, it isn’t working. My body’s a bundle of nerves at the moment, and there aren’t enough well-meant placations in the world to ease my troubled soul.

Bennet opens his mouth to speak but snaps it shut when Dad’s bedroom door opens and his footsteps thud down the stairs. I cling to Bennet, burying my face in his chest so I don’t have to look at Dad when he tells us this thing isn’t going to happen.

“Boys,” he says, and his voice sounds absolutely wrecked. It’s cracked and raw and filled with heartache. Then again, it is a bit difficult to judge when I’ve got my face hidden by Bennet’s chest. “We need to talk.”

We need to talk.

God. Has anything good ever come after those words? They’re the kiss of death. A final nail in the coffin. Three words that shatter me down to dust until I’m softly crying into Bennet’s chest. Bennet’s hands wrap around my back and hold me against him until it feels like I can’t even move. Good. I don’t want tomove. I just want to stay here in this moment, before Dad takes everything he promised last night and tosses it in the trash.

I feel him, though. Dad’s right beside me, his presence unwavering. There’s warm breath against my cheek, and I catch the scent of his cinnamon toothpaste. “Can you look at me, little man?”

I shake my head, because I don’t think I can. The act of pulling away from Bennet feels physically impossible. Dad’s about to break my heart, and I can’t tear myself away from Bennet to watch it happen.

“We only just got you and now you’re taking it all away,” I say, hating myself for how weak I sound. I know I need to be strong so I don’t seem pathetic, but I can’t. How can I be strong when Dad’s done with this silly little courtship idea? Will I even get to call him Dad anymore?

“What are you talking about? I’m not taking anything away. Benji, baby, I need you to look at me.”

Reluctantly, I pry myself away from Bennet and look Dad in the eyes, because he keeps saying that’s what good boys do. I don’t want to be a good boy, though. Not if it means facing the reality that Bennet and I are so unlovable we’ve managed to chase away yet another man who may or may not be the love of our lives. Dad’s sitting next to me on the sofa, and the warmth in his eyes gives me the smallest spark of hope.

“Are y-you b-breaking up with us?” I ask, stumbling over the words. Dad’s eyes bulge and his mouth hangs open like I’ve just slapped him.

“Is that what you thought?” he asks, grabbing my hand and squeezing tight. “Oh, sweetheart, no. Of course, I’m not breaking up with you. God help me, I’m into this just as much as you boys are. Last night, I promised I would take care of you both. I just needed time to think of the logistics. If we’re doing this, there are things that have to be addressed.”

“What kind of things?” Bennet asks.

“Well, for starters, there’s my son. He’s expressly forbidden me from dating either of you, and before we move forward, we have to tell him. I can’t lie to him. Not again. Not after everything with the divorce. I’m not going to keep you boys as a dirty little secret. You mean the world to me, and I won’t pretend otherwise. If you still want this, we have to have the conversation.”

My jaw drops and all I can do is stare at him like I’m stupid. He can’t be serious. “But, Dad,” I say, my voice sounding a bit more whiny than I intended, but that’s okay. He won’t look down on me for it. “He’s going to hate us.”

Dad cups my cheek and gives me a quick kiss on the lips. “I promise, it’s all going to work out. I don’t know how, but I’ll sort it out. I always do, don’t I?” He waits for our nod before continuing, “I won’t lie to Tatum. Not about us. I’m not keeping you boys hidden from anyone.”

“But what if he says we can’t date you? What if he tells you to kick us out?”

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