Page 41 of Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang Us, Daddy

“You think I don’t know that, Benjamin? Do you think I haven’t been beating myself up over it?” I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose. “It’s not just that. There’s more, and once you find out, you’re going to see how silly this idea really is.” I grab his hand and hold on tight. “You’re not the only one worried about losing someone they love, son. If something goes south, you’ve still got each other. Who will I have?” There’s a little wetness on my cheeks, so I wipe them dry with my palms. “I’ll have nothing, Benjamin. If that happens, I won’t have my boys. I won’t have Tatum. I’m nothing, and you’re all I have left. Both of you.”

“We would never—” Bennet attempts before I cut him off.

“I have erectile dysfunction,” I say. “The other day in the kitchen was a fluke. Even if I wanted to give you what you want, I couldn’t keep you happy sexually. It’s the whole reason you brought the monster into your relationship with Tatum andAustin. You need someone who can please you in ways I don’t think I can.”

Bennet squeezes my knee. “We wanted him to join because we needed someone to look out for us. It might have been about penetration for Tatum and Austin, but it never was for us.”

Benji nods. “Getting fucked is nice, but so is everything we’ve done together. Rubbing against you. Having you watch us while we jack off. That’s enough for us, Dad. We don’t need a porn star, we just need someone who will take care of us. We need a Daddy.”

“We need you,” Bennet adds, nodding his agreement. “We want you, Nate.”

I release the hold I have on their hands and stand up, just needing a moment to think. The moment spreads into minutes as I pace back and forth across the room.

Daddy. They want me to be their Daddy. With anyone else, I’d simply scoff and tell them they’re being ridiculous, but how can I do that with my boys?

I pause, turning and staring at the paused image of Bennet and Benji on their bed. The cum on their faces, the look of raw love in their eyes. All because of me.

A pair of hands wrap around me from behind, and a set of lips press flush against my neck.

Benji.

I would know his touch anywhere. Wetness touches my skin, and it doesn’t stop. His teeth dig in, not enough to hurt, just enough to let me know he’s there, and despite my supposed sexuality being up in the air at the moment, I don’t want to break this contact. I think I need my boy just as much as he needs me.

Another hand touches my stomach, rising and falling slowly as Bennet’s lips touch my neck. I’ve got a man on each side, worshiping me like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Like I’ve done something to deserve their affection. But what couldI have ever done to deserve this? They’re half my age, which in and of itself is problematic on every level. Add to that, there’s the fact that up until today—despite the past sexual encounters—I’ve always seen them as my sons. That feeling of fatherly devotion isn’t fading either, which troubles me, because it makes this feel like incest. The worst part is, it doesn’t bother me nearly as much as it should.

“Daddy,” Bennet whispers, and the word sends a chill down my spine. “Don’t you love us?” God. He sounds so broken.

“Of course I do,” I say, unable to look away from the picture of my shirtless torso.

“Don’t you want to be our dad forever?” Benji asks.

“Always,” I answer, feeling a little lightheaded.

Bennet’s hand creeps lower, only stopping when he reaches my waist. “You want to keep us safe?”

“Because you do it so well, Dad.”

“We never feel safer than when we’re with you,” Bennet agrees.

“And we can stay like this forever. Just the three of us,” Benji adds.

“Don’t you want that?” they ask in unison.

“Boys,” I whisper. God. Why the hell am I so lightheaded? Why does it feel like time’s flashing by in an instant while I’m stuck here, unable to move? Bennet’s breath hitches, his fingers twitching as I place my hand on top of his. He’s less than three inches from glory, and I know if I don’t stop this now, he’s going to touch it. I place my hand on top of Bennet’s and guide him away. “I don’t know if I’m ready for that.”

I expect Bennet to object, but he doesn’t. His hand shakes free from my grip, and he moves it up until he has it held over my heart. His lips return to my neck, leaving a gentle trail of kisses upward, toward my jaw. My cheek. Right below my ear.He takes my earlobe into his mouth and suckles it like a calf to his mother’s teat.

“Is this okay?” Bennet asks. “If it’s not, I’ll stop.”

“We don’t want to pressure you,” Benji says when he finally pries his lips off my neck. “I mean, I know that might sound silly since we’re essentially molesting your neck, but still.” As if wanting to prove his point, he kisses my neck again, but it’s deeper this time. His mouth opens wider. I’m hit with more of his warmth. More of his heat. More of my Benji. I reach up and behind myself, until I’ve got my fingers in his hair. Much to everyone’s surprise, I don’t shove him away. I pull him even closer, needing more of this. Bennet’s hand slides down my back until it’s only inches from my ass. Then his finger dips below, resting at the peak of my crack.

Sweet Jesus. I think I want him to keep going.

“Bennet,” I growl. It’s a sound I’ve never made before, but these boys make everything new.

“Yeah, Daddy?”

Fuck!

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