Page 29 of Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang Us, Daddy

“Do I . . .” He closes his eyes, mouthing, “come on, come on, come on,”through a beautifully frustrated scowl. “Can I call you my boyfriend now? Is that what this is?” My eyes widen, and he must think I’m disgusted with the idea, because he shakes his head fast. “Forget I said that. Fucking intrusive thoughts. Ah, hell. Benji, I didn’t?—”

“Yes!” I blurt, surprising myself just as much as Bennet. I fly forward, crashing against his chest, sending us tumbling down onto the mattress. Bennet’s on his back, staring up at me with his big, beautiful eyes, and he looks like he can’t tell if I’m about to slap him or mount him. Well, I’m basically mounting him as it is. I’m on his lap, arms propped on his chest, our faces close enough that I can feel his warm breath. “Wait. Are you actually asking me to be your boyfriend, or is this some cruel hypothetical situation that’s been forged in the flames of hell? Because if so, I’m not going to?—”

He covers my mouth with his hand and snickers. “Will you be my boyfriend?” My jaw is trembling so hard Bennet can feel it, and he softly strokes my cheek with his thumb.

I kiss his palm, then pull far enough away to be able to speak. “You mean it?”

“I don’t know how any of this sex stuff is going to go, either, but I think even if we’re not compatible like that, I still want this with you. If physical stuff is too weird, I still want to be ableto look at you and say, ‘That’s my boyfriend.’ I wanna be yours, Benji, and I want you to be mine. I love you.” He brings his voice lower, slowly inching closer. “I’m in love with you. I think I have been for a while.”

God, his smile is everything. All that hope and appreciation aimed in my direction. Those big beautiful words. He just laid his heart bare in my hands, leaving it there for me to do with it as I please. He put himself out there in a way I never could; in a way I want to. I’m overwhelmed with rushes of pride for how brave he just was for telling me that.

I cup his cheek, because it’s right there, begging to be touched. “Can I kiss you again? A real kiss, tongue and everything. I just need to be sure before I say it back.”

“If you’re not ready?—”

“Bennet?” I interrupt.

“Yeah?”

“Shut up and kiss me.”

“Okay,” he says, his voice hoarse. He presses a chaste kiss to my lips. Just the slightest of close-mouthed kisses, really, but it’s one that makes the earth feel like it’s crumbling around us. When he pulls away, hope’s still strong in his eyes. “You’re sure? About using tongues, I mean. It’s not going to weird you out?”

“There’s only one way to find out.” Gripping him by the nape, I pull him right against me, our lips smashing, teeth clashing. I press a hand against his heart, rocking my hips forward. I gasp when I first grind against him, surprised at how electric the touch feels. It’s like someone’s tossed a toaster into the bath with me, and it’s all I can do to hold on to Bennet. The kiss is gentle at first with Bennet slowly sucking my bottom lip, occasionally nipping at it with his teeth. He’s got one hand on my hip when his tongue slips in, twirling it with mine as his nails dig deeper into my skin.

Fuck. I didn’t know it could be like this. I didn’t realize just how strong our bond really is. Nothing about the kiss feels weird. Nothing about the way he’s touching me feels wrong. Because this is Bennet. My Bennet. I’ve got my knee between his legs, and when he thrusts against me, I realize he’s just as into this as I am.

As his tongue twists with mine, he’s making all these little, broken sounds. Cries and whines I’ve heard before, usually while he’s bent over, face inches from mine, riding our Daddy’s cock. I want that again. I need to see Bennet being fucked into oblivion, but with this new component present. His pain and pleasure have always fueled me in the moment, but now, those feelings will be palpable. Being able to kiss him like this, I’ll be able to swallow his pain into myself. To drink down the whimpers each time one escapes.

His hand slides down my back, skirting dangerously close to my ass. His tongue is working faster now, licking every inch of my mouth like he’s trying to create a mental snapshot he can revisit anytime he wants.

“Can I touch your butt?” he asks, his breathing heavy.

I take his bottom lip between my teeth and playfully tug. My lips close around it, kissing away the pain before I break the kiss. “You can touch me anywhere.”

“Okay. Yeah. Thanks, Benji.”

I crinkle my nose playfully. “Happy to be of service.”

His hand slips lower, almost painstakingly slow. Wanting to speed the process along, I reach behind me and place my hand on top of his, guiding him to his goal. Once his hand is on me, his eyes widen, and his mouth falls open. “Jesus.” His grip tightens, and he jiggles a cheek up and down a few times, staring at me, looking mesmerized. “Your butt is so soft, Benj.”

“You’ve felt my butt thousands of times,” I point out.

“Yeah, but this is different. I wasn’t thinking of doing stuff to it before.”

“What kind of stuff? Because I’ll be honest—I kind of want you to do stuff to it. All the stuff.”

He leans down and gives me another kiss, but it doesn’t last long enough for my liking. “Do I get to finger you now? Is that something that comes with the boyfriend role?”

Each time he calls me his boyfriend, it feels like there are butterflies swarming around inside my heart. It’s such a silly thing to get hung up on, but I can’t help it. Bennet Anderson is my boyfriend. My best friend. My other half.

“Finger it. Taste it. You could even fuck me if you ever wanted to try. I don’t mind, Bennet. Honest.” I know it’s a sore subject for him, just as it is for me. Neither of us have ever even tried to top, because of our size. We’ve talked about it a couple of times, and for both of us, it comes down to being worried our dicks won’t be enough, and fear of being laughed at for even asking a lover to let us try. “We can do whatever we want together. All the stuff we’ve ever been too ashamed to try, you can try it with me.” He looks genuinely taken aback by it, probably remembering all the sexual wants we’ve discussed in private. Things we never would have dared to ask a boyfriend are now ours for the taking.

“Benji,” he says, his voice soft and small. “I want that.”

I nod. “Me too. Want it so bad it hurts. Should we get naked now?”

“I will if you will,” he says, slowly standing from the bed. I follow along until we’re both face to face, neither of us making a move to undress. “Do you want to go first, or should I?”

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