Page 27 of Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang Us, Daddy

He blinks a few times like he’s trying to assess his physical state. “My tummy is still spinning, but my head doesn’t hurt as bad.”

I point at the bowl. “I brought you soup. Do you want me to feed it to you?”

His lip trembles, and he gives me a reserved nod. Slowly, I spoon-feed him chicken noodle soup, kissing his forehead and praising him after each spoonful. Dad joins us about halfway through, and he’s got his soup in a large tumbler, sipping it with a straw.

“I had to take out the noodles. I’m not sure I could hold them down.”

Once the soup is gone, I nuzzle next to Bennet, resting my head on his chest, practically purring as he strokes my back.

Dad’s behind me, pressing a hand against my shoulder. “Do you boys want me to stay?”

I do. I really, really want him to stay with us. To see our reactions to each other. To gently guide us toward our goal, the same way he did last night.

“Stay,” Bennet says, holding his hand out, inviting him into bed with us.

My heart is thundering in my chest. All morning, I’ve watched my best friend fall deeper and deeper for the Daddy I promised him. The one I found, just for us. These new feelings of Bennet’s are big and reckless and beautiful, and minute by minute, hour by hour, I watched Bennet Anderson come back to me. Becoming the man he was before the monster took him away. The boy who used to smile at me in the backyard, holding a dandelion behind his back, telling me he had a pretty flower for his pretty brother. Yesterday, the idea of Bennet falling in love with Dad without me felt like an anchor tied around my chest, weighing me down and keeping me lost at sea. But now, it’s just so fucking beautiful. The men I love are stumbling into love together. Tweaked noses and kisses to chins and foreheads and both cheeks aplenty. And now the looks they were giving each other earlier are aimed right at me. I know I’m probably going to struggle with trust issues for a while, but right here, right now, there are no ill wills or bad intentions. There’s no lying serpent slithering about, pretending to love me only to take away the only man who’s ever truly loved me back, and tuck him in the attic.

“I’ll stay if you want me to, boys.” Dad smiles at us, but he looks like he’s going to fall asleep at any second. He’s gorgeous as all get out, but he looks absolutely wrecked.

“Would you rather go to bed?” I take my hand away from Bennet, because I want him to know if he doesn’t want to do this right now, we don’t have to, but Dad just nods his head, looking disappointed in himself.

“I’m sorry. I really wanted to be here for you when you?—”

“It’s okay,” I interject. “We can wait until tonight. It’s fine.”

He leans in and kisses my forehead. Damn. Even his lips are warm. I lift my hand to his face, wanting to feel for a fever. He’s still burning up. I feather my fingers through the ring of hair around his bald head. Sure enough, his scalp is hot too.

“Why don’t you both—” He grabs his stomach and rubs. “I’m feeling a little . . .” He feigns a vomiting sound, and he’s so absolutely adorable when he does, I can’t keep the smile off my face. “Can you do something for me?”

“Anything,” Bennet and I answer at the same time.

He shakes his head. “Anything you want to do together is okay. If you want to explore, then I want you to explore.”

Bennet shakes his head. “It would feel weird without you.”

Dad reaches past me and feathers his fingers through Bennet’s hair. “Then just look at each other. You don’t have to do anything more than that if you don’t want to.”

Bennet frowns. “But what if we want to do more?”

Dad cocks an eyebrow. “You don’t need permission to play with each other, son.”

Before I can stop myself, I blurt out, “Yeah, we do. It’s in the rules. No playing unless we’re all present.”

Dad’s eyebrows raise even higher. “You have rules? For the three of us?”

Fuck. Okay, I wasn’t supposed to mention that, and, yes, I regret letting it slip out, but I can hardly swallow the words back down to wipe them out of our history.

“It’s not really a rule as much as something that makes us feel more secure,” Bennet eexplains. “The monster used to make me do stuff without Benji. He would do stuff to Benji when I wasn’t there. I couldn’t keep an eye on him and make sure he was safe, and he wasn’t safe a whole lot.” There’s a tear in Bennet’s eye, and Dad and I both reach for him at the same time. Our hands touch, and we share a look that speaks volumes. One that screams to protectwhat’s ours. My hand is on top of Dad’s, but it still feels like he’s the one in control. Our hands don’t move. We barely breathe. We exist in this moment until the moment fades and Bennet’s hand presses against mine, sandwiching me between them.

“You’re safe now,” Dad and I say at the same time, making me gasp. I try not to get my hopes up, but there’s a small spark of hope that I can’t extinguish. Hope that Dad is the missing piece of our puzzle, and he’s ready to wedge himself into the picture so we never feel broken again.

“I’m scared,” Bennet finally admits, glancing back and forth between Dad and me. His fingers curl around my hand, gripping tightly. “I’m scared of what this could do to us if it doesn’t work out.”

“We won’t let it,” I promise him. “Nothing is ever gonna stop me from loving you, Bennet. All or nothing, I promise.”

“Beginning to end,” he says, nodding slowly. Turning to Dad, he adds, “That includes you too. Beginning to end, Nate.” He slides the hand not holding mine beneath Dad’s. He’s holding both our hands, and, in turn, holding us all together. “I mean it.”

“Me too,” I say.

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