Page 22 of Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang Us, Daddy

I bite my bottom lip and study him. He’s such a beautiful man, I don’t know why it’s taken me so long to realize. Residual trauma from Benito, probably. There’s a smaller part that was scared he’d win over Benji and leave me on my own, because maybe he won’t like me as much. I don’t feel that way anymore. How can I when he keeps staring at me like I’m God’s gift to him?

“What if we need you for forever?” I finally ask.

The corner of his lip curls up and he strokes my bottom lip with his thumb, letting it sit right in the center. I pucker my lips, pressing a quick kiss against his fingertip, somehow resisting the urge to open my mouth and swallow it whole.

“You’ve got it.”

I try to wrack my brain for any set of words that might match the happiness he’s just given me, but as usual, I fall short. I choke, unable to form syllables, much less a response. Thankfully, the universe must be looking out for me, becauseNate’s phone dings, then a video call comes through. He answers the call first, practically beaming at Benji.

Benji’s back at his desk, his cheeks redder than before. He darts his eyes across the screen, probably looking for me. As soon as he spots me in the background, a smile settles on his face. I know we’re codependent—Benito practically whipped the words into us toward the end of our relationship—but I think we’ll always be like this, matching outfits and all.

“I missed you,” I tell him. He was only gone a few minutes, but those minutes felt like lifetimes. I really don’t like that he’s not here with me . . . withus. Because that’s where he belongs.

His cheeks burn even darker and he winks at me. “Missed you too. And you, Dad.”

“I was wondering if you forgot about me,” Nate teases.

“Never,” Benji declare I say at the same time, and it makes Nate’s beautiful smile spread wider.

“I sent you pictures,” Benji says. “But you’ve got to look at them in order. You see, when we were showering before work, Bennet was ogling me like a complete tramp, and that’s when he noticed it. He said it was a growth, but I don’t know.”

Well, that’s a flat-out lie. The truth is, when we were showering, I did everything I could to keep things as normal as possible between us. I did what I always did; I washed him. My hands roamed over his body, spreading rose-scented soap across every square inch of his skin. There was something different this time, though. I allowed myself to look at him. To really see him as a man, and not just my best friend. That’s when I noticed the small freckle on the underside of his cock. I was kneeling in front of him, scrubbing his balls for all their worth, when I saw a new side to Benji. One I’d never seen before. It was like every inch of him had been hidden by a selfie filter all this time, and he finally turned off the filter. I saw the veins as they traveled across his cock in intricate pathways, sometimes leading to littleblue forks in the road. A small valley in the skin above his penis. The way his head was wider than its base kind of reminded me of a dandelion; like if I were to pucker my lips and blow, my other half might disintegrate right in front of me. I kept my lips shut tight, just in case. Then I noticed it. A small brown freckle on the underside of the head.

I’m about to see it again, and heat floods through me at the realization. Even more confusingly, Iwantto see it. No. Not just want—I think I need to see it. Benji’s dick. Nate’s reaction to Benji’s dick.

“Hand me to Bennet,” he instructs, and I’m kind of expecting Nate to scold him for not saying please, but he must hear the urgency in Benji’s voice because he doesn’t say a word, just places Benji’s nervous face in my hand. I stare down at the phone with an eyebrow raised, but he flashes me a look I know all too well. He needs assurance, and I’m happy to provide it to him. I give him an “everything is okay” expression, and, as he always does, Benji reads my expression like an instruction manual. His breathing slows and the nervousness tempers off. “Okay. Show them to him, but go in order.”

“Can . . . Benji, can I look too?”

He blushes so beautifully I almost can’t stand it. “You can look at me as much as you want, Bennet. I don’t mind. Honest.”

My cheeks are a little warmer, too, as I bring up Nate’s message chain with Benji. Once it loads, I’m immediately accosted by four new images of him in various stages of arousal, the freckle not identifiable in any of them. The last image makes my mouth water, so I don’t think that’s one I should show Nate, because it’s depraved, even for us. So, I start at the beginning.

The first picture gives me a bird’s-eye view of Benji standing in front of a urinal at the agency. He’s got his cock out, not erect in the slightest. I love seeing him like this, just in a casual state of undress, with no real goal of ejaculation. I think even if Benji’ssoft cock was the only thing I ever saw in my life, I still would have seen the world. His dick dangles over his underwear’s waistband, his soft, smooth balls lifted high and tight to his body.

“What do you think? Is it something he should be worried about?” I ask, handing Nate the phone. Nate blinks at it a few times, like he’s trying to put puzzle pieces together in his mind. He reaches behind him and grabs his horn-rimmed glasses from the bedside table. I don’t even remember him taking them off.

Once he’s got his glasses on, his eyes almost bulge out of his head. “That’s your penis,” he comments, like none of us have seen a penis before and need to be told. He stares at the phone, but I think he’s staring at Benji’s face in the corner of the screen. “Son, I think you’ve made a mistake. You’ve just sent me a picture of your bare penis.”

“Yes, sir,” he says. “There’s a mole. Or maybe it’s a growth. Like I said, we’re not really sure which, and we could use your opinion. There’s another one too, flip to the next picture; it might be easier to see there.”

Nate shakes his head. “No, I know that. I just meant … if the mole is on the underside of your penis, why would you send me a picture that doesn’t show the underside of said penis?”

I figure this is the part where Nate will realize we’re toying with him and he’ll either kick us out or call us cheeky scamps. He does neither of those things. Almost in a haze, he flips to the next image, inspecting it inch by inch.

“I don’t see anything here either, son.” He’s chewing on his cheek, staring at the screen like it’s one of those optical illusion books my mom used to buy. “Unless I’m just looking at it wrong.” He double taps the image to zoom in, his eyes widening as Benji’s penis expands across his phone. His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows, and there’s a sheen of sweat peppering his brow. After a solid forty seconds of staring, Nate finally shakeshis head. “No. Not in this one either.” His voice is thick and raspy, and it’s a tone I’ve only heard a handful of times.

“Try the next one,” Benji says, sounding breathless. I look into the corner of the phone and have to bite my tongue to stop from scolding him. He’s behind our desk at work, the phone propped in front of the computer. He’s got one hand on the desk, but the other is out of frame. His shoulder is moving at a rapid pace, though, and he lets out a soft moan. “What do you think, Dad? What do you think of my pictures?”

Nate swipes to the right, his eyes bulging when the picture pops up. The next one is even better than the last. Benji’s fully erect, and it’s just out there for anyone to see. The sound of slick friction comes through Nate’s speaker, but he must not notice it. I don’t know how he hasn’t, because Benji clearly wants him to hear, if his soft moans are any indication.

“Sweet Jesus,” Nate whispers, staring at Benji’s cock. His mouth opens and closes a few times, but nothing comes out except his breath. More of that cinnamon goodness. I wish Benji were here to smell it with me. Truthfully, I wish Benji were here for a lot more than the intoxicating scent of Nate’s oral hygiene. I kind of want to see what he’s doing under the desk. He looks so fucking beautiful this way, lost in his pleasure. Lost in the sight of Nate. Maybe even a little lost because of me. “No,” Nate finally says. “No growth in this one, either.”

I point at Benji’s cock on the phone and give Nate a feigned look of confusion. “Nuh-uh.” I swipe back to the last picture he was looking at, then forward again to image number three. “There’s a lot of growth between these pictures. See? He was soft in the other, but he’s almost all the way hard in this one.”

Nate’s eyes bulge, and he sets the phone on the bed. “That’s . . . that isn’t what I meant.” Sweat is pouring down his face, and I just need to touch him. To bring him back, because I think we might have just pushed him too far.

“Hey,” I whisper, rising to my knees and reaching over him to grab a tissue from the nightstand. I use the Kleenex to halfheartedly dry his forehead. “What’s wrong?”

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