“He’s…,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper. “I know him from London. He’s the reason my brother’s dead.”
“He killed him?” Is that what he means? What else could it be?
“According to the court papers Grant raised a gun towards the police. Sean was trying to push him out the way and so the shot from the special branch hit him rather than Grant. During the struggle, Grant fell to the floor and police were able to arrest him without further resistance. But my brother paid the price.” Jake takes a step back and looks at me with concern. “Are you alright?” he whispers.
“I… I think I need to sit down.” Before I can move, he scoops me up in his arms and carries me to my bedroom where he gently places me on the bed.
“My brother was in Grant’s gang. They were mainly distributing drugs in London. Mum and I tried to get him to leave the gang but Sean didn’t want to listen.” Jake sits down next to me.
“Is that why Grant’s coming after you?” I feel like parts of the story are missing.
“Yes. And I was there when the gang were raided. I went to warn my brother that the police were looking for him and probably led them straight to him, because I’m a fucking idiot.” His face shows deep pain. I slide my hand into his and try to give him some comfort. “Grant blames me for getting him nicked and he’snot wrong. My statement at his trial was crucial. He warned me that he’ll come after me. That’s why I moved up here. I thought he wouldn’t find me. It’s all my fault.”
“He got your brother killed,” I try to reason.
“No, I did,” he whispers. A single tear is rolling over his face. I’ve never seen him so vulnerable and broken. Jake, my Jake, has always been strong… a protector; it made me forget that he may need some protecting himself.
“You didn—”
“Yes, yes I did.” He jumps from the bed and paces the room. “I led them to him and then I wasn’t able to protect him. And Sean’s death is what killed Mum. She died of a broken heart. I’ve caused all of this.”
I wish I could take that pain away from him but I know I can’t. Whatever I say won’t make a difference. Instead, I get up and pull him into a hug. He comes willingly and holds on tight to me. I try to give him whatever strength I can muster.
“You have to go to the police,” I whisper.
“What for?”
“Get a restraining order.”
Jake snorts and steps from my embrace. “There is one in place but he won’t care. If I want to keep you both safe I need to leave.”He looks determined and completely heart-broken at the same time.
“Do you think he’ll leave us alone just because you’re gone? He knows that I belong to you.” Despite the dire situation, saying those words aloud makes my heart race with longing for him.
“I—” He stares at me before shouting, “Fuck!”
“It’s all going to be alright.” I pull him back into my arms. Somehow being this close to him makes me feel safer, makes this all feel like this is just a bad dream.
“I’m not sure I share your optimism,” he mumbles against my neck.
“This is what we’re going to do. We’re going to speak to the police and we’re going to tell my family and your work.”
“Why?” He immediately puts a barrier up. I know that aside from me he hasn’t really let anyone at Fellside get close to him. He’s friends with Rob and a few people at the Greenview Manor Hotel; I even think he considers my brother a friend, but he only shows his vulnerable side to me. However, we need as much help as we can get and we know we can trust our friends and family.
“Because the police can advise us on what we should do. And they can look for him as he’s in breach of his restraining order.”
Jake gives me a doubtful look.
“And we’ll need my family and the Greenview Manor team to keep an eye out in case they see him lurking around.”
“I’m not sure—”
“I know this all may just be bollocks but that’s the best I can think of and I can’t come up with an alternative. Can you?” I cup his face and make him look at me.
“No. You’re right. Hopefully it at least protects you and the princess. I don’t care what happens to me,” he sighs.
Tears sting my eyes. “Please don’t say that, Jake. Please, don’t.” I curl up against his chest and wait for him to put his arms around me. When he finally does I relax a little. “You can’t leave us. Promise me that. Please. I love you.” The words are out before I can stop them. I hold my breath when he doesn’t react. He’s still for a second before gently putting a finger under my chin and making me look at him.
“You love me?”