Page 67 of Worth the Wait

Her eyes started to mist over, and I swore that if she started to cry, I’d fall the fuck apart. Seeing Addi in pain was one of the worst feelings in the world.

“No. I used to love it at first, but now I hate it,” she admitted, but she still looked so sad that I wasn’t sure how to take it.

Part of me wanted to throw my fist in the air in victory, but the rest of me felt like I wasn’t really winning at all.

“Then, how is this even a discussion right now? I don’t understand what’s going on in that beautiful head of yours, love,” I said, hoping like hell that she’d fill me in.

Reading Addi’s thoughts had never been a problem for me in the past, but there were new layers there now, keeping me out.

She inhaled a breath and stayed quiet. I watched the way her chest moved in and out, counting silently as I waited for her to give me an explanation that made sense.

“The guy said that he’d only open the restaurant if I was the head chef. If I don’t say yes to his offer, then a bunch of my peers will be out of a unique opportunity. I feel like there are a lot of people relying on my answer.”

I had no idea who the asshole was who’d made her this offer, but right now, in this moment, I fucking hated him with every fiber of my being. Guilting my girl into taking a position was a shit thing to do. I was half tempted to call Matthew and have him do some due diligence on the guy, fly out there, and have a little meeting with him, but I refrained…for the time being.

“So, you feel responsible for a bunch of strangers you don’t owe anything to?” I couldn’t seem to stop myself from taking these little jabs at her, and every time a shitty accusation left my lips, I wished I could shove it back down my throat and swallow it whole.

Her face twisted slightly before she pulled herself together. “They’re not all strangers. And I know I don’t owe them anything, but my saying yes gives them a chance to do the kind of thing we all dream about.”

“You can have that dream here, you know? Or have you outgrown Sugar Mountain, the same way your mom did? We too small town for you now?”

Dammit.

Addi threw the sheets off, reached for her clothes, and started getting dressed. That had been a low blow, and I had known it the second I said it that I’d gone way too far. I hustled out of the bed, too, grabbing a pair of boxer briefs and slipping them on as I made my way to her.

“Addi, stop. I’m sorry. That was mean.”

Putting her sweater on, she wiped at the falling tears with the back of her hand. “That was mean.”

“I know.” I ran a hand down my face. I was ruining everything when all I wanted to do was fix it. Fix us. “I think I’m lashing out because I’m hurting,” I admitted as she tucked some hair behind her ear.

“You’re not the only one hurting, Patrick. I hurt too. You think I don’t love you anymore? You think I don’t love Sugar Mountain? I do. So much.”

“Then, stay. Please, Addison, just fucking stay.” I fell to my knees and wrapped my arms around her legs. Burying my head against her thighs, I tried to will my heart to stop breaking into even smaller pieces. “I’m in love with you. I’m never going to stop. And I know I told you that I was a ghost of a man without you, and that’s true,” I said as I pulled my head back and looked up.

She was watching me with rapt attention, her brown eyes shining.

“But it’s also not your responsibility to make me whole. I don’t want you thinking that. All of this is my choice. I choose to not move on. I choose to not love anyone else. I gave you my heart when I was just a kid, and I choose not to take it back. If I don’t have you to love, I don’t want anyone, but that’s not on you, baby. That’s on me.”

She fell to her knees as well and wrapped her arms around my neck. “You don’t need to explain all of this to me. I feel the exact same way about you, Patrick. I always will,” she whispered in my ear.

Even though they were the words I’d longed to hear, it still somehow felt like a second goodbye.

“Then, how can you leave me again?” I reached for her face and ran my fingers down her cheek, desperation coursing through my veins.

“I don’t know. But for right now, I have to.” She pressed a kiss to my lips before turning around and walking out of our front door.

I wasn’t sure how long I stayed there on my knees, but the sound of her car driving away had long since faded. When Jasper appeared at my side and started licking my arm, I snapped out of the trance I’d been in. Patting his head, I smiled as his tail thumped against the hardwood floor.

“You’ll never leave me, will you, boy?” I asked out loud, and Jasper licked my face in response.

At least someone loved me enough to stay.

WHAT AM I DOING?

ADDISON

Iwas a wreck. More miserable than when I’d left almost four years ago. And honestly, that was saying a lot. Leaving Patrick behind that first time had been devastating, but I’d had my schooling and classes to keep me busy and focused while I felt like I could barely breathe.

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