Page 7 of Bozo

“It’s not Dad,” I whisper. “He’s still the same as normal, still drunk.”

Today has been awful. Everyone’s been talking all week about the teen disco that’s happening tonight. I know that unless Dad’s drunk and passed out, I won’t be able to go, but I want to. And then today, Anthony asked me out. He’s the cutest guy in our year and he asked me out.

I look up at Connor, feeling my eyes start to water. "Anthony asked me to go to the disco with him."

Connor's eyebrows furrow. "What, and you said yes?" he practically growls, sounding angry.

I shake my head, my voice cracking. "If I could go I would. But you know I can't. Dad will never let me, and even if he's passed out, I can't leave him alone. What if something happens?"

Connor's face softens with understanding. "You’re too fucking soft for your own good, Grá," he says, his voice gentle. "Had that man been anyone else’s dad, they’d have left that bastard to rot years ago. Not you though. You’re too soft, aren’t you?"

“He’s my dad, Connor,” I say.

He slides his hands into his pockets. “And?”

I smile, forgetting who I’m talking to. Connor doesn’t care about his dad. Hell, he’s getting to the point where he barely cares about his mam because she’s always trying to make up excuses for his dad’s shitty behavior.

“I don’t see why you can’t go to the disco. Surely your dad would be grand alone for a few hours?”

"I don’t know. What will happen if he wakes up and I’m not there?" It’s my ultimate fear. He’d be so angry if he woke up in the middle of the night and found I wasn’t at home. He’d lose his damn mind and lash out.

Connor's eyes harden, a familiar determination settling over his features. "Listen, Sunshine, you can't keep living like this. Your dad's problems aren't yours to solve. You deserve a night out, to be a normal teenager for once."

I bite my lip, torn between longing and fear. "But what if?—"

"No what ifs," Connor interrupts. "We’re going to that disco tonight.”

“We?” I echo. Connor’s never been to a disco. He always says they’re stupid and shit.

“Told you before, Sunshine: where you go, I go. I need to make sure you’re safe.”

My heart leaps at the possibility, but doubt still gnaws at me. "You'd do that for me?"

Connor's expression softens. "Course I would, Grá. You're my best friend. I want you to have some fun for once."

I feel a lump forming in my throat. I’m overwhelmed by his kindness. "But what about you? You won’t have fun. You hate the disco."

He shrugs, a crooked smile playing on his lips. "Eh, you’ll be there. So, we’ll go and your dad is going to be fine."

For the first time today, a genuine smile spreads across my face. "You're the best, Connor. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Probably cry a lot more," he teases, nudging my shoulder. "Now, let's get you home so your dad doesn’t lose his mind as it is."

As we walk home, a mixture of excitement and nervousness bubbles in my chest. Maybe, just maybe, I can have one normal night. One night when I'm not constantly worrying about my dad. One night when I can just be a teenager. And it’s all thanks to Connor.

But as we near my house, a nagging voice in the back of my mind whispers that things are never that simple. Not in my life. Not with my dad. There’s always something. “Maybe?—”

“Nope,” he says. “That’s not happening. We’ve made our decision. Now, go on in and I’ll pick you up later. Be ready.”

I give him a smile as I head toward the house. “Thanks, Con. I’ll see you later.”

“Later, Sunshine.”

My head is poundingand I feel dizzy. I’m unable to keep one foot in front of the other. I’ve never felt so out of sorts before. Panic crawls up my throat as I try to find someone to help me. I’ve been at the party for two hours, I was fine not that long ago, but I went outside to find Anthony after he disappeared and the next thing, I feel dizzy and I’m not in control of my body.

“There you are,” Anthony says with a grin as he slides his arm around my shoulders as I make it to the top of the stairs. I think I’ve walked around this huge mansion of a house three times searching for him. I want to go home now. “I’ve been looking for you. Are you thirsty?”

I shake my head. “No. I think I should go home,” I tell him, and note that my words are slightly slurred. Something is terribly wrong and I’m not sure what.

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