Page 37 of Bozo

There's a pause, and I hear the clink of glasses. Connor returns, a bottle of whiskey in one hand and two tumblers in the other. He sets them down on the coffee table before answering.

"About a month ago," he admits, not quite meeting my eyes as he pours us each a generous measure. "I was going to tell you, but with your exams coming up, I didn't want to add to your stress."

I take the glass he offers me, swirling the amber liquid. "So you’re joining a motorcycle club?" I ask, still trying to wrap my head around it. “Even though you’ve never wanted to do anything that would bring trouble to your door.”

Connor sighs, running a hand through his hair. "I know it seems sudden," he says, taking a sip of his whiskey. "But things have changed. The club, they're not what you might think."

I raise an eyebrow, skeptical. I’ve heard a lot about them, some good, some not so much. "Oh? And what exactly are they?"

"They're a family, Grá," he says, his voice soft but serious. "They look out for each other, protect each other. And they do good in the community too, even if most people don't see it."

I take a long swig of my drink, wincing at the burn. "And what about the illegal stuff? The violence? Don't tell me that doesn't happen."

Connor's quiet for a moment, his eyes fixed on his glass. "I won't lie to you, Grá. There are aspects of club life that aren't exactly legal. But it's not like what you see in the movies. It's more complicated than that."

I shake my head, feeling a mixture of emotions I can't quite sort out. Today’s been a shit show for my feelings. "Why now, Con? Why risk everything you've worked for?"

He looks at me, his eyes intense. "Because I want that, Grá. I want that family. I want to belong to something, to have brothers at my back, to know that I’m more than a kid who is a fucking genius freak."

I feel my breath catch in my throat. "I’ve never thought that of you. You’re so much more than your brain, Con. So much more."

Connor leans forward, his voice low and urgent. “I know that. You’re the only one who’s treated me like that, Gráinne, but I need more.”

I grit my teeth, hating that I’ll never be enough. “I understand,” I whisper. “If this is what you want, I’m behind you a hundred percent.”

He smiles at me, his piercing green eyes filled with relief. He was worried about telling me his decision. I’m glad that it’s out in the open now and he can do what he needs to be happy. That’s all I ever want for him. He’s my best friend, the man who has always protected me since I was a child. He’s the man that I love.

He settles onto the sofa beside me, his shoulders pressed close to mine. We continue drinking and I’m glad of the burn. I’m feeling emotionally wrecked, unsure of what to feel.

I’mdrunk and I’m not the only one. Connor is too. The bottle of whiskey is gone. We spent the evening watching comedy movies and talking.

“You should go to bed,” he tells me, his words slightly slurred. But even though he’s telling me to go to bed, the hand that’s around me is caressing the skin on my arm, causing goosebumps to break out.

“Hmm,” I murmur, pressing closer to him. I look up at his beautiful green eyes and my heart soars. God, I’m so fucking happy to have him here. He’s without a doubt the best man I’ve ever met. He’s the best friend a girl could ever have. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have him in my life.

I feel a warmth spreading through me that has nothing to do with the whiskey. Connor's fingers continue tracing patterns on my arm, sending tingles down my spine. Our faces are so close I can feel his breath on my cheek.

"Con," I whisper, my heart racing.

His eyes lock onto mine, dark, with an intensity I've never seen before. "Yeah?" he murmurs.

I'm not sure who moves first, but suddenly his lips are on mine. The kiss is gentle at first, hesitant, but quickly deepens as years of pent-up longing pour out. His hand cups my face as mine tangles in his hair, pulling him closer.

When we finally break apart, we're both breathing heavily. Connor rests his forehead against mine, his thumb caressing my cheek.

"Grá," he says softly, "I've wanted to do that for so long."

I smile, feeling a bubble of happiness rise in my chest. "Me too," I admit.

He pulls back slightly, his eyes searching mine. "Are you sure about this? With everything that's happened today?—"

I nod, reaching up to trace the line of his jaw. "I'm sure. You're the one constant in my life, Con. The one person I can always count on. I don't want to waste any more time."

A slow smile spreads across his face. He stands, pulling me up with him. "Then let's not waste any more time," he says, his voice low and husky.

He leads me to the bedroom, our fingers intertwined. The moment we enter the room, a mixture of nervousness and excitement flutters in my stomach. This is Connor, my best friend, the man who's been by my side through everything. And now, he's about to become so much more.

He turns to face me, his hands coming to rest on my hips. "Are you sure?" he asks again, his eyes searching mine.

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