Page 3 of Endgame

Once I feel like the sugar has equipped me enough to figure out some damage control, I grab my phone to call the woman I consider my means of survival: Navy.

She is passion and fury combined, and lucky for me, my best friend.

Navy is dating her high school sweetheart, Luke, and is on her way to being the best sports anchor Atlanta has ever seen. I have no idea what she’s up to right now, but if I had to guess, I’d say either doing yoga in her living room or spending too much time taming her hair to withstand this heat.

Navy answers on the first ring. “Woman, this better be good. Schmidt just started singing to CeCe, and you know they give me the feels. Better be good to interrupt the feels, Kodi.”

She’s watchingNew Girl.

The nostalgia from it makes me crave a lazy day where I can binge-watch every episode and sayfuck youto life for a little while. Unfortunately, there’s no time for that.

I need her.

“I need you, Navs. Today has been awful, and you know I’m not one to ask for favors, but I have no other option,” I blurt out in one breath as fast as I can.

Greeted with silence, I check the phone, still connected. Crickets may be louder than her breathing. Is she even breathing?

“Navy?” My loud-mouthed friend chooses now to stay silent.

“Who do I need to kill?”

Does she have a pen and paper? The list could go on.

“No one at the moment. But I do need your help.”

She doesn’t hesitate. “Let’s hear it.”

Realizing I don’t have much to lose, and Navy is the one person I trust with my entire life, I ask her, “Can you pick me up from the DDS, please? My truck won’t start, and I’m trying to get to the apartment before Trevor shows up.”

I really hope she’s not already at work. In that case, it looks like I’ll be either ubering or walking—neither sounding comforting at the moment.

“You know I’d do anything for you, babe.”

I sense abutcoming. “But you can’t.”

A long pause draws out before she speaks, “I’m sorry. Please don’t be upset with me. You know I’d do anything to be there for you, but I have a meeting in an hour, and Jared might physically murder me and sell my body if I leave him hanging on this one.”

My heart drops. I’m ready for this day to be over.

The tears I’ve been holding in since this morning threaten to escape. I can’t tell her that, though, because Navy would crumble if she knew I was this upset.

It feels like I can’t catch a break, and I’m exhausted.

The moment things finally settle in my life, and I start to see the light at the end of the tunnel, life goes in reverse, and I’m back to square one.

I’m spiraling, but I’ve worked too hard to even get this far.

Although I’m nowhere close to being healed, if I’d even call it that, I would give anything for even the smallestwin.

It looks like I’m on my own, then.

Doing my best not to seem overwhelmed, I sigh, “Seriously, no problem. Forget I asked. I’m so proud of you and how hard you work. Go kick ass, and I’ll figure it out.”

There’s nothing I hate more than feeling like a burden to people. That’s how I’ve felt this last year.

Since losing my parents, the amount of “pity help” I’ve received has been unbearable. I appreciate it more than words can say, but the part of me that’s still hurting so badly wants it all to stop.

I want people to look at me and not see loss but to be my friend and treat me less like a broken toy.

---