Page 107 of Endgame

Standing deadly still, his voice echoes in a whisper, the tone charged with what sounds like hurt and hesitation. “That’s what I want, Dakota. I won’t sacrifice that if you never catch up. I just can’t.”

I didn’t expect that, nor did I expect it to feel as painful as it does. Not once has Cal ever fed me false hope of a future. He’s always been transparent about wanting a family, kids, a house—all of it—from day one, and I admire him for that. It would be incredibly misleading to say I confidently know what I want my future to look like.

I know I see him in it. I’m confident in that.

For so long, all the milestones that come with being an adult or in a relationship have felt like a distant dream, never standing a chance of being a possibility.

Now that the possibility exists, I don’t know what steps to take.

I’m questioning everything to guard myself from getting hurt, even when I know what I want. I know I want a life with Callaway.

Feeling like he needs a moment to collect his thoughts before dinner, I tell him I’ll wait for him at the Jeep.

“I’ll meet you down there.”

He hasn’t turned around. I don’t hear footsteps as I retreat, but I do see his strong shoulders shrug and reload as if he had just now allowed himself to breathe.

I’ve been looking forward to this all day, and my mood has completely changed within a short period of time.

It looks like that conversation is going to happen sooner than planned. Let’s hope it ends on a good note.

43

CALLAWAY

Her silence feelslike a knife to the throat.

I can’t focus on anything but it.

Dakota didn’t respond, and it hurts like hell.

Do I love too quickly? Is that what it is?

Iknowshe loves me. I can feel it in her touch and her words—I feel it everywhere. But why can't she tell me?

It’s hard being the one to always have it all together. There are some days when I want to say fuck it all and live off the grid by myself where no one can find me. It’s not my personality to do that, but the idea is still alluring.

Her lack of response only reminded me we need to talk.

I know her heart, and it beats for me.

She’s scared. But at the same time, she needs to know I won’t sacrifice my desire to have a family with her. I can’t. That may sound selfish, but life has dealt me a shitty hand at a young age, and it only showed me what I want more.

I hope she wants the same thing with me.

The drive to my parents’ house is silent except for the hum of the Jeep engine. Silence typically plays as a peacefultransaction between us, but tonight, the tension is palpable, and I want it to stop.

Meet the parents with a side of tension for two, please.

As we pull up to the two-story brownstone, my mood improves slightly, knowing I get to see my parents, and that the anticipated conversation between Dakota and I will be one that defines us. I’m doing my best to stay positive.

I pull the Jeep to a stop next to Navy’s Mercedes and turn the ignition over before settling back in my seat with a long exhale.

How can I brighten up the mood?

I see Dakota eye Navy’s car, and it makes me think seeing it gives her the strength to move forward. She begins to speak up, pulling me from my trance.

“Callaway, I know we’re due for a talk. I’m ready for that when you are. But please don’t be mad at me. I can’t handle it.”

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