Page 27 of Don't Fall in Love (and how to break the rules)

“Um, can I possibly have a hug?” asked Nisha, in an uncharacteristically timid voice. “I know I’m a strong independent woman and all that, but it’s at times like this that I miss having someone there.”

Chrissie’s heart warmed before melting. “Of course,” she said, opening her arms and beckoning Nisha in

“I’m such a wimp,” came a muffled voice from Chrissie’s shoulder.

“No you’re not,” Chrissie told her, breathing in the freshly laundered scent of Nisha’s loungewear. There was something comforting about their bodies being close together, something that made Chrissie feel more whole, somehow. She had felt hollow for so long. Lost in her own thoughts, the embrace lasted far longer than she had planned.

“Thanks, Chris,” said Nisha, rubbing her hands up Chrissie’s back.

“No problem,” said Chrissie, her head and body a whirl of emotions. She could just kiss Nisha now. It would feel so right to almost every part of her. But her brain screamed no. They moved apart, and Chrissie stepped away awkwardly. “Let me have a little tidy-up for you, and then I’ll make you some soup.”

“You’re the best,” said Nisha, collapsing back onto her sofa, seemingly unaffected by the embrace. Chrissie couldn’t help but remember how everything had ended twenty years earlier. She didn’t want to go there again.

Chrissie shrugged off her wistful thoughts and got to work, whipping the living room into shape before making soup for them both.

“Thanks,” said Nisha, settling back on the sofa with a mug of chicken soup. “I know I’ve already said it, but you really are the best. I really appreciate you coming over and feeding me.” Chrissie smiled, but didn’t say anything. There was too much to say, and none of it made any sense right now.

Chapter Twenty-Two

“So, you’re saying that this Philippa woman might actually hold the solution to all our problems?” asked Nisha, colour returning to her cheeks now she’d finished her soup.

“Well, perhaps not all,” said Chrissie, “but it certainly sounds like she’s someone worth having a chat with.” She sighed. “She’s a bit extra, always wanting to tell me every detail of her daughter’s needs each morning before school. I do find her quite tiring.”

“Well we’re in no position to be fussy,” said Nisha. “I reckon we make a plan to meet up with her and find out what she can offer us, beyond just coming along on the trip. Law firms have loads of cash, right?”

“Well, more than schools do, yes. I think you’re right,” agreed Chrissie.

“Always,” said Nisha, with a grin. “God, that soup hit the spot. I’m feeling much better.”

“I’m really pleased,” said Chrissie. “It’s not been the same without you at school. I mean, me and Dan have coped, but, you know…” She trailed off, unsure what to say next.

“Do you think we ought to talk?” asked Nisha.

“Um, we are talking,” said Chrissie, not wanting to look directly at Nisha, who was sitting next to her.

“Don’t be obtuse,” said Nisha. “You know what I mean.” Chrissie pressed her lips together. Nisha continued. “You kissed me.”

Chrissie’s eyes closed and she breathed in. “Yes, I know. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. It was a weird moment in a weird day,” she said, her words tumbling out one after another. “I didn’t ask your consent and it wasn’t ok and I really don’t know what came over me.” She was about to say more, but Nisha held up her hand.

“Hang on a minute, Chris, you kissed me, yes. And I’m not going to lie, I was surprised. But I kissed you back,” said Nisha, her face turning slightly towards the woman by her side. “I was involved, too.”

Chrissie felt a mixture of relief and excitement, but then confusion. She needed to get all her words out now, before Nisha said anything more. “Ok, yes, you were there too,” she agreed. “But it wasn’t the right thing. I’m in a really vulnerable place right now. I don’t know who I can trust, and I’m still only rebuilding my life.”

Nisha stayed quiet this time, and let Chrissie talk.

“I have made terrible mistakes and I have hurt people, people who didn’t deserve it. I shouldn’t have kissed you. It was wrong of me. It was about what happened back after our exams that summer, not about now.”

“So you’re saying it was a mistake?” said Nisha, her brow furrowed.

“I’m saying I can’t trust my instincts, and I’m not in a place to be in a relationship.”

“Ah yes, the rules,” said Nisha, giving a grimace.

“I know you think they’re stupid, but after everything that happened, I have to have some framework to live by,” Chrissiereplied. She placed her hands on her knees, smoothing her trousers.

“I don’t think they’re stupid,” said Nisha in a soft voice, “and I am really sorry I got so cross that day at the Vine. I shouldn’t have. But I’ll be real with you, I don’t understand them. I sort of wonder if you’re swapping one set of rules – those set by that awful cult bloke – for another, even if they are self-imposed.”

“Nisha,” started Chrissie, but a hand gently rested on hers.

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