Page 24 of Dangerous Allure

As much as I wish I wasn’t. I managed to get up, take a shower and climb out of my window, not wanting to be alone anymore. I didn’t mean to end up at the Cyprus house, but that's where my legs took me. It wasn’t until I walked up their steps that I realized where I was. Their porch creaks when you hit the top step and that’s what took me out of my heinous thoughts. Thoughts of ending my life or doing something stupid and having someone else do the job for me.

I’m such a coward and a liar. Time just isn't on my side, nor is it moving fast enough. Could I just pack my shit and leave? Yes. I have enough money to disappear, but then what? I’ll have no diploma, no nothing to succeed in life. I’ll end up working a bullshit job or two just to stay afloat once the money's gone, and that’s not what I want in life. All I need is just one piece of paper to end all my misery and I’m gone.

A ping of guilt and sadness hits my chest which sends my mind racing with the thoughts of them–all five Cyprus brothers. I don’t know what I’m doing with them. They all keep kissing me. Well, except for Caspian and Axel, but the other three? Fuck. They riddle my mind day and night. I can’t help but want them all so fucking bad. They fill the void deep within my soul and I don’t want to lose this feeling. I want to marinade in it for as long as possible, but it’s not fair to them to keep stringing them along. I have to end it, and soon.

Grabbing my bag, I slide my window open and climb out onto my balcony, shutting the glass behind me.

Walking down the steps, I pull out my phone and send Jacob a text. Tonight is a football party and I’m summoned to attend. Why do I keep doing this? Why can’t I just do what I want to do?Ugh.I’m so frustrated with myself.

My heart is screaming at me to go where it wants, but my mind knows it can’t. I fucking hate football parties. It’s the same lame shit every time. Half-naked girls from other schools dancing around drunk. People having sex in all the rooms, beer pong and flip cup. It’s all the same boring shit. I want to fucking live a little. I want to be set fucking free and maybe smile a genuine smile, not fake it until I make it.Fuck.

Me: I’m ready.

Almost instantly.

Jacob Lee: I’m picking up Connor. Be there soon.

Me: I’ll be waiting at the bus stop.

Placing my phone in my pocket, I walk to the stop, sit and wait for him to arrive. He hasn't mentioned anything about Braxton punching him or what happened in the hallway. Now I’m just bracing myself for when my punishment comes because I know it will.

Revving of an engine takes me out of my head and I look up to see a familiar truck.Caspian.You could never confuse any of their vehicles with anyone else. They all drive classics and they are pristine. I smile wide as he pulls to the side of the road. The passenger side window rolls down and I move to say something sarcastic, but I notice it’s not Caspian, it's Axel. I smile wider as our eyes collide and he does the same, patting the passenger seat.

“I can’t tonight. I’m supposed to go to the football party.” I frown, but he shakes his head and pats the seat again.He reaches over into his bag, taking out his sketch pad. I watch as he flips the pages and finally lands on one he likes. He turns thepad to show me and I gasp. It’s a picture of me, laying in my bed, sleeping. What the fuck? Has he been outside my window, watching me? I look up at him and he frowns.

“Axel, how do you know what my room looks like? Have you been watching me?” I ask, and he shakes his head with a sly grin on his face. I can’t help but blush thinking he’s been watching me, but then what if he’s seen Stan come in? No. There’s no way he’s seen that. I clear my throat and look at the picture again. It’s gorgeous. I look so peaceful, but instead of a blanket covering my body, its angel wings. Black and grey scaled wings that look like they’re keeping my body protected.

A stray tear falls down from my eyes. He doesn't realize how this drawing makes me feel. Like he’s wanting to protect me but projects it through the art. I only wish it was in reality. To feel protected all the time. To feel at ease in my own skin and home is what I yearn for, what I pray for nightly, but it never comes. Just the devil incarnate himself.

He clears his throat, patting the seat again.Ugh, I want to go with him so fucking bad. Fuck it. I’ll suffer the consequences later. I deserve this.

Opening the car door, I place my bag on the floorboard and slide in next to him. He smiles wide, shutting his pad and placing it in his bag next to mine. He reaches for my hand and looks at me. I nod, giving him the permission he seeks. He brings it to his lips, where he places a gentle kiss against my skin, lighting my body on fire. He’s the only one who legit sets me ablaze, sending currents of electricity through me with just one touch. He doesn’t let me go until we pull up at his house.

There are no cars in the driveway. I guess it's just me and him. He grabs our bags and hops out, rounding the front and opening my door. I step out and he grabs my hand again. I take a deep breath and let him lead the way.What I would give to hear his voice, even if it's just to say my name.

He opens the front door and climbs the stairs, still not letting me go. The house is so silent without anyone home. We get to the top step and he makes a right, passing the bathroom and into his room while Caspian is sitting at his desk to the left, playing a video game. He looks over at me and smiles.

“Well, hello little Gumdrop.” He says, then turns back to his game.

“Demon of Hell.” I laugh and he shakes his head as he yells into the headset that lays on top of his head. Axel sits on his bed that is at the far right side. It’s like night and day from his brother's side. You can totally tell whose side is whose just by what's hanging on the wall. Axel has pictures of different things he drew, where Caspians is more Emo with posters of bands, naked girls and an array of knives.

Strips of LED lights run along the ceiling and lava lamps sit on their dressers, along with a tank that houses a bearded dragon. This has to be the biggest room in the house besides Harleys. There’s a huge window that faces the front of the house where both beds are. I can also tell who’s the clean one and who’s the slob. Caspian gives no fucks about making his bed, but Axel seems to take care of his things. Everything is organized where Caspian is just a whole mess. Doesn’t surprise me at all.

Pulling out a chair from Axel’s desk, I sit back and watch as Caspian plays a few rounds. I notice when he’s in deep thought, he flicks that lip ring of his.Jesus. Why do I want to know what it feels like dragging against my body? Shit.Shuffling in my seat, my eyes collide with Axel’s. He smiles at me, lifting his chin for me to come sit with him.

Getting up, Caspian yells into the mic which causes both me and his brother to jump. Axel notices and frowns as I walk towards him. He hands me a sketch pad and pencil, patting next to him. I climb on the bed and lean against the wall.

Taking the pencil, I start drawing the boy next to me. I look over at him and he’s already staring at me. A blush crawls up my cheeks and he lifts his hand, slowly outlining my reddening cheek with his fingers only to make me blush harder. Caspian slams the controller down and rips the headset off his head.

“I’m out. See you guys later. Ax, you good?” He asks his brother who nods his answer. Caspian looks at me and flicks his lips ring with a grin before grabbing a knife from the wall and shoving it into his sheath.

“Until next time, Gumdrop.” He smiles and I just shake my head and get back to drawing the boy next to me. I’m not sure how long it’s been, but I flinch when my ass starts vibrating. I ignore it, knowing exactly who the fuck it is.

Looking over at Axel again, he’s already looking at me. As our eyes collide, my breathing hitches. I see so much sadness in his dead eyes and it makes my heart skip a beat. He takes his hand and draws an X on each spot I have a bruise. It’s like he can see right through the mask. I shake my head, but he turns to me.

Cupping my face with both of his hands, he looks deep into my eyes, then at my lips and I lick them, wanting to feel his against mine. Wanting to feel his soul entwine with mine and never let go.

The pull is almost unbearable as our breathing picks up the longer we stare at one another. I lift my hand slowly and run my fingertips gently against the ones cupping my face, movingdown his arms as they litter with goosebumps. He shuts his eyes as I trail them along his biceps, over his shoulder, up his neck to his face. He opens them, and his eyes sparkle with happiness the more I touch him. I trace my fingers along his cheek bones, down his strong jaw and over his lips. He shudders, only to make me shiver with want.

---