Page 19 of Dirty Deal

I will never fucking forgive myself if I did. Our bargain is one thing, a safe battle of wills, but if I actually harmed Lena in that way… acid churns in my gut at the thought. How could I be so careless?

“No,” Lena scoffs, cutting through my burgeoning self-hatred like a hot knife through butter. “Don’t flatter yourself.Thatwas all my idea anyway.”

Thank god.

“Then what—?”

“My parents.” Lena’s nose rubs against my neck, and a pleased shudder rolls down my spine. She feels so good in my lap, soright.Could we have been doing this the whole time? “You know better than anyone what they can be like, Weston. Well, last night they hit a new low.”

I stifle a growl in my throat. There’s no point in showing that anger, not when the people to blame aren’t even here. “What happened?”

If the Merritts sensed what happened between us somehow, if they shamed Lena for it, I swear to god—

“It doesn’t matter.” Lena sits up suddenly, like she’s finally realized what we’re doing. She blinks down at the sight of herself in my lap, her palms spread over my chest. My arms have wrapped around her, holding her close. “Huh,” Lena says.

“It does matter.” I duck my chin but she won’t meet my gaze. Instead, Lena bats my arms away and slides off my lap, tugging her clothes straight like nothing ever happened. She strides around the desk, putting the furniture safely between us.

Every new inch of distance between us makes my chest ache.

I sit up straighter in my chair, oddly flustered.

“Whatever your parents have done—”

“Weston?” Lena finally meets my eye, forcing a smile. “It’s fine. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“But if I could help—”

“You’re already helping.” Her head tilts, dark hair sliding over one shoulder, and her words are soft but bitter. “Remember? That’s our whole deal. I let you humiliate me for five nights, then you save my family.”

I’d save her anyway.The thought spears through me, white-hot and undeniable. There was no need for this circus; no need to make Lena lower herself and beg. No need to make her hate me this badly.

If Lena Merritt is ever in trouble, I will drop everything to help her, family grudge be damned. The realization is a hit of sweet relief, my constant headache fading into the background. What I’ve been doing to her is wrong, all wrong.

I’ve been making Lena pay for the sins of her father. Holding her accountable for things she had no control over. All because deep down, I figured the Merritt princess would never want me back, would never take me seriously no matter my wealth and power, all while I hungered for her like a starving man at a feast.

The hurt and embarrassment that wanting her caused me—I twisted it around and used it like a weapon. But it was always her father’s voice telling me I wasn’t good enough, not hers.

“Lena,” I rasp, my chest hollowed out and raw. Turns out I’m not the man I hoped to be. What a time to realize that fact.

“So what’ll it be tonight?” she asks, oblivious to the fact that my inner world has just turned upside down. That everything has changed for me in the space of one revelation, and now I’m lost. Unmoored.

What would the two of us be like together if I stopped resenting Lena Merritt? Is it too late to find out? Have I trampled on every chance I ever had with her?

“I, uh…”

“Come on.” Lena folds her arms and raises her chin. She’s in that black trench coat again, some mystery dress beneath, with a pair of heels that make her legs look endless. “Whatever it is, I can handle it. Lay it on me, Weston.”

Beneath the bravado, there’s a fragile note to her voice. Like Lena needs this somehow—the chance to prove herself to meand everyone else who doubts her. The chance to give the world the finger.

Well, she might hate me for our bargain, but if this is what Lena needs from me… this is what I’ll give. Orders for her to overcome.

And this time, we might both enjoy it.

Nine

Lena

The club is dark and luxurious, with plush private booths around the walls and sets of tables and chairs spaced around the floor. Servers slip through the shadows like ghosts, delivering a constant stream of drinks, while tea lights flicker on tables—a constellation of tiny stars.

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