Page 69 of Crazy Imperfect Hearts

I laugh, thinking about how I should be asking her the very same question. Then I stride to her bedroom, full of determination, only one thing on my mind. Making. Her. Come.

Chapter Twenty-three

Regan

I stare at myself in the mirror. Plain blue shirt. Yoga pants. Long, lightweight cardigan. Tennis shoes. I look like I should be going to the gym, not going to get laid. I turn sideways, then fully around, looking at myself from all angles.

I look stupid. I feel stupid.

But I suppose it’s better than having to let Lucas stay until after midnight and then sneak out in the dark and jog home.

I can’t help but feel a little sorry for the guy. Once again, he failed at his quest last night.

It’s not so much he failed as I didn’t succeed. Didn’t even try is more like it. Wham bam, thank you sir was the order of the day—andalldays. I know myself. It’s just been far too long. Add in the fact that all I can think about is getting pregnant, and it’s just not going to happen.

“Be a good boy,” I tell Joey, feeding him and then grabbing my purse and heading out the door.

I go out the back. Halfway down the alley, the back door to Maddie’s flower shop opens and her grandmother steps through holding a bag of trash. She does a double take. “Regan? Why, I almost didn’t recognize you.” She eyes me up and down. “Is it laundry day, my girl?”

I laugh awkwardly as my head spins, conjuring up a believable story. “I was, you know, just on my way to Truman’s for some sugar. Don’t you hate it when you run out?”

“Truman’s doesn’t have a back entrance, dear.”

“Yeah, I know. But I didn’t want people seeing me like this. As you said… laundry day.”

“As it happens, Maddie keeps a large container of sugar in the shop. She does love her coffee. How much do you need? I’ll get it for you.”

“Um… that’s very kind of you, but, um… it’s brown sugar I’m in need of.”

“Oh, well, I can’t help you then. What are you making?”

Think. Think. Cookies? Oatmeal?“Coatmeal.”

“Coatmeal?” She cocks her head.

“I mean… I meant oatmeal.”

“Mmm. An interesting choice for dinner.”

I shrug. “I was craving it. I mean, not craving it. I just was watching TV and there was a commercial for it and so I thought I’d make some.”

Oh my god, stop talking.

I am such a bad liar. I’m not sure how I think I’ll be able to go several months without telling anyone about this.

“Let me take this to the dumpster for you,” I say, reaching for the trash.

She lets me take it. “Thank you. I’ll just go back inside and close up then. Enjoy your oatmeal.”

“I will.”

After getting rid of the trash, I glance back to see Rose is still in the doorway. She waves, but doesn’t move. I look back once again when I’ve made it to the end of the alley. She’s still standing there. I have no choice but to turn left instead of right. Right is the train station. She’d know I was full of shit and up to something. Rose Gianogi always has her ear to the ground. And she’s the last person I need a lecture from, especially since she already laid into Lucas this morning.

I stand along the end of the building, wondering how long I need to wait. If I peek around the corner and she catches me, she’ll know something’s up. So I lean against the brick building as I wait and weigh my options.

“Regan?”

Oh, for fucks sake.

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