Page 64 of Crazy Imperfect Hearts

“You think Blake, Dallas, and I sit around and talk about our dicks?”

“I think you’ve probably compared notes.” I squirt whipped cream onto my pancakes. “Tell me I’m wrong. Women aren’t the only ones who talk about that stuff.”

“You’re not wrong. And no, they weren’t blessed with the extra inches I have.”

“Blessed or cursed?” I ask with a raised brow.

“Ouch.” He grabs his chest. “Regan, you’re killing me here.”

I take a bite of pancakes and giggle. “Sorry. I’m not one to talk. I know what it’s like to carry extra inches.Everywhere.”

“I happen to like all of your inches.”

“Do you really?” I study his face. “Some guys say that, but honestly, it’s hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that guys actually like this.” I squeeze a handful of side belly.

“Don’t sell yourself short, Regan. For one, you rock that body. And some of us care more about what’s up here.” He points to my head. “And what’s in there.” He points to my heart.

I’m trying to figure out why he cares about any of that—this is just a mission after all—when Joey meows loudly. In my surprise at finding Lucas cooking breakfast, I plain forgot to put his food out.

I reach down and pull him onto my lap. “Sorry, buddy.” I kiss his head. “I’ll feed you in a minute.”

“I already fed him,” Lucas says.

My head snaps up in surprise. “You did?”

“I’m trying to make friends. It clearly didn’t work.” He nods to Joey’s food bowl full of untouched food. “He wouldn’t eat it.”

I cock my head and study Joey before putting him on the floor, getting up from the table, and going to his bowl. I pick it up off the floor then put it back down. I can’t help laughing when he immediately digs in. “He really does hate you. I just don’t get it.”

“Me neither. Pets always love me. My niece’s cat doesn’t hiss at me like Joey does. He scurries over and purrs against me. And Dallas’s dog thinks I’m pretty fucking cool too.” He eyes Joey, now devouring his food. “There must be something wrong with him.”

“There’s nothing wrong with Joey. The problem is with you.”

“He’s jealous.”

“Jealous? Of a human?”

“Tell me, Ray, how many men have you had up here in your apartment?”

I narrow my eyes. “Are you asking about my sexual history? Don’t you already know enough about that?”

“I just think Joey believeshe’syour guy.”

I regard Joey as he eats.Does he?

“In order to see if my theory holds weight,” he says, “it’s important to know if other men come up here. And how he reacts to them.”

I guess I’ve never really thought about it before. But with Joey only being a few years old, there haven’t been many. Oh my god, have there beenany?“I, uh, respectfully decline to answer that question on account of how pathetic it would make me look.”

He laughs out loud, and I swear he looks more than a little happy. I guess he likes to be right. This time… he is.

“You never answered my question about Ryder.”

“They’re still living in Colorado,” I say, scooping the leftovers into containers. “We’ve never been super close. I saw him and Amy in Sarasota at Christmas. Amy and I have even less in common than Ryder and I do. We’ve never really acted like sisters-in-law or even gotten along that well. I don’t like the way she tries to control him. And it’s always been a herculean task to get her to Sarasota every other year for the holidays. It was almost painful, the five of us sitting around with nothing to talk about. I guess because of our age difference, Ryder and I never really connected. And my parents, we just have different values. They’ll probably disown me after this.”

“When are you going to tell them?”

“I’m not.”

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