Page 51 of Crazy Imperfect Hearts

“Let’s get into the weeds of that,” Candace says. “Living arrangements. Custody. Will it be divided equally?”

“No,” Regan says. “This whole thing started because I wanted a baby.Iwanted one. Forme. Not a kid I had to share.”

“Well, there’s always the sperm bank,” I say, maybe a little too sarcastically. “I looked it up, Regan. It could be in the thousands of dollars. More if you have to keep doing it over and over until it sticks. I also researched out of pocket expenses for having a baby. Unless you have bougie insurance, it could cost you five to ten grand, and that’s assuming no C-section or complications. Childcare, education, sports. I can’t even tell you how much sports cost, it’s way more than you—”

“I get it,” Regan says, slapping the table. “But I’m not going to let you hold me over a barrel here just because you have money. You want a kid so badly, go buy one.”

“Let’s calm down,” Candace says. “You each have something to offer here. We just need to work something out that is mutually agreeable.” She turns to me. “What are your thoughts on custody?”

“She can have custody for the most part. Like on a day-to-day basis. But I’ll want time with him or her. Weekends. Vacations. Some holidays.”

“How many weekends? How often?”

Candace’s fingers are busy typing as she fires off the questions.

“I haven’t really thought about it. Every other?” I look at Regan to see her reaction. She’s pretty stoic now, on the defensive for sure, but I think I detect a hint of relief. “I mean, I’m not sure I want anything set in stone. What if I want to see the baby more often? Like come over after work? Or when he orshe gets older, maybe have him for a longer visit. I don’t want to be cornered into anything here.”

“I wouldn’t keep you from seeing the baby, Lucas,” Regan says. “I’d never do that. You’d have free access. Not a key to my apartment or anything, but I’d be happy to let you come over often. And I’m not opposed to two weekends a month, maybe even a little more. This is all new to me, and based on what I see with friends, a lot of hard work. It might be nice to have a break every once in a while.”

“Okay then,” Candace says. “We’re in agreement on two weekends minimum, with Lucas free to ask for more time as needed. And shall we say split holidays equally?”

“Allof them?” Regan asks sadly.

I can almost picture her in those candy cane tights she wore, sitting on her couch on Christmas morning, gutted because the kid is with me and not her. It’s a painful thought. I could never do that to her.

“My family loves holidays. The more the merrier. You’d always be welcome to spend them with us.”

“Why don’t we go with splitting the holidays as the official stance.” Candace types out notes. “You can alter that on the fly. Agreed?”

Regan nods.

“Fine,” I say.

“What about residency?” Candace asks. “What if one of you decides to move out of Calloway Creek, or out of the state?”

“No,” I say. “No way. That’s a hard stop for me.” I turn to Regan. “I know you aren’t the type of person who would do it, but with the kind of child support I’m offering, you could potentially sell your business and go anywhere. If we’re doing this, we’re going all in. Until the kid is eighteen, neither of us can move out of town.”

“I’ve lived here all my life, Lucas. My friends are here. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Your parents live in Florida.”

“You think I’d run off with your kid to Sarasota to parents who will most likely disown me when they find out I’m having a baby out of wedlock?”

“So you’re in agreement on this point?” Candace asks, moving things along.

We both nod.

“I’d like to buy you a car,” I say to Regan. “A safe one. If you’re driving my kid around, I want him or her surrounded by airbags.”

“I really don’t drive much.”

I raise a brow. “You’re turning down a free vehicle?”

She thinks on it. “Do I get to choose?”

“As long as it’s got a high safety rating, yes.”

“Agreed.”

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