Page 41 of Crazy Imperfect Hearts

My flight landed two hours ago. I’m showered, groomed, and ready for the mission. And let’s face it, I’m downright giddy.

I show up right before seven o’clock, when she usually locks up for the day, and the bells over the door alert her to my arrival. She glances my way without a single reaction as she deals with a customer. I try not to let her blatant indifference bother me and pretend I’m browsing the book section.

When I don’t hear voices, I turn. I’m surprised to see Regan and a customer talking in ASL.

With Blake’s wife and daughter both being deaf, I’ve learned some American Sign Language myself over the past year, but I had no idea Regan knew it. I know enough, and pick up from contextual clues, to figure out the two women are talking about a book.

I watch Regan stealthily from behind a rack of clothing. The fluid motion of her hands. The way her colorful skirt swishes back and forth with every movement. How her lips move, forming words with no sound.

Fuck.

I turn away and pick up a book about Europe to tamp down my growing problem.

A few minutes later, the front doorbells chime again. The customer has left. We’re alone. Regan sits on her stool behindthe counter, pulls a pen from over her ear, and writes in a ledger, not even bothering to acknowledge my presence.

Finally, it clicks—it’s all part of the game. Like ouraccidentalmeeting in the grocery store.

I smile to myself, go over and turn her sign fromOPENtoCLOSED, and lock her door. My pulse quickens with each step as I stride the length of the store to the register, knowing I’m that much closer to doing what I’ve been dreaming up these past weeks.

Without even making eye contact, she puts down her ledger, walks around the counter, follows the same path I just blazed from the front door, and unlocks it again. She holds it open and looks at me. “Sorry, we’re closed.”

She’s really getting into character. I backtrack, join her where she stands, and tug on the open door. She doesn’t allow it to budge. I study her face. There’s no mystery. No amusement like before. Is she… kicking me out?

“Regan?” I take a step closer, putting a hand on her curvy waist.

She shrugs me off. “Not gonna happen.”

“But you said—”

“I changed my mind. Women do that.”

Women do that. She sounds just like Allie does when it’s her time of the month.

I hold up my hands in surrender, disappointed, but with complete acceptance. “I get it. So I’ll come back, say, next Wednesday?”

Five days. That’s enough time, isn’t it?

“No, Lucas. I’ve changed my mind as in forever. This isn’t happening.”

“Aw, come on. Maybe you’ll feel differently in a few days.”

“I’m not going to stand here and tell you my reasons. I just don’t want to do it. Not now, not ever.” She side-steps me,letting the door shut with me still inside. She turns off most of the lights, does a few things behind the register, and heads for the door to the stairs to her apartment. “You can let yourself out. Bye, Lucas.”

That’s it?Bye, Lucas?

I stand here stunned. Without thinking about what a monumentally bad idea it is, especially after being lectured by my mother, Allie, and multiple fiancées on what not to do when a woman is hormonal, I step over to the door she just went through and take the stairs two at a time.

As suspected, her apartment is unlocked. I really need to get her to change her habits.

I open the door like I own the place and march across the floor to the kitchen whereshenow stands stunned.

“You can’t just storm into my apartment and demand sex, Lucas.”

I step back so as to not seem threatening. “I’m not demanding sex, Regan. I’d never do that. I just thought we could talk about it.”

She laughs. “You mean you wanted to find out why I shut off the gravy train you thought you’d hopped onto. Can you just leave it at I changed my mind? There are all kinds of reasons your proposition had bad idea written all over it. The least of which is that it would have made me look like a doormat. Maybe it just took me a while to realize it.”

“Since when have you cared what people think of you?”

---