Page 89 of Crazy Imperfect Hearts

A deep sense of sadness washes over me when I realize this is the life I’ve subjected myself to.

Chapter Thirty

Regan

“Another three miles in the books,” Lucas says as we approach the trailhead.

Since the day we left Dr. Russo’s office, Lucas has insisted I meet him for the ‘brisk walk’ the doctor prescribed. Three times a week, we secretly and separately meet just before dusk at one of the trailheads at the rear of Calloway Creek Park. If we see anyone approaching, which rarely happens, he jogs ahead as if he’s just passed me on his nightly run.

This time, though, our luck runs out and we’re caught red-handed as Lucas’s brother Blake comes blazing around the last turn and almost plows into me.

“Whoa!” Lucas says, making sure there isn’t a collision. “Watch where you’re going.”

“Oh, hey,” Blake says apologetically. “Sorry, Regan.” His eyes dart between us, amusement dancing in them even in the ensuing darkness. “How are you?”

“I’m great. Just out for a walk. Lucas here almost plowed into me just before you did,” I say, trying to explain our close proximity.

“Of course he did.”

I don’t miss how Lucas shoots Blake a disapproving glare.

“How’s Ellie?” I ask.

“She’s good,” he says as well as signs like it’s a habit. “She mentioned you the other day. She has a big load of clothes she’d like to drop off.”

“Tell her I’d appreciate anything she has.”

“Will do. See you around.” He lifts his chin at Lucas and continues his run.

I turn, hands on hips. “Why didn’t your brother seem surprised to see us together?”

Guilt is written all over Lucas’s face.

“Oh my god, you told him.” I shake my head when he doesn’t deny it. “Lucas, we said we’d wait. Do you know how hard it’s been for me to keep this a secret from Ryder? For three weeks, I ran down to the shop to throw up in the boutique bathroom just so he wouldn’t hear me retching up my insides. Do you realize how difficult it’s been not to say anything to Maddie and Ava? To my other friends? Especially Amber, who has a new baby now? And Nikki, who’s pregnant herself?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Does anyone else know?”

“Just Dallas.”

“How long have they known?”

He paces in a circle. “I told them the day we found out.”

My jaw slackens. “They’ve known for months?”

“I’m sorry. I couldn’t keep it in. I didn’t realize how much finding out I was going to be a dad would affect me. I just had to talk about it with someone.”

“How do you thinkIfeel?” I touch my stomach. “I’m the one growing the tiny human.”

“So tell Maddie and Ava.”

“Maybe I will.”

“Good. Because it is nice having someone to talk about it with.” He nudges my elbow. “You know, other than you.”

Sometimes… okay, lots of times… I could swear he’s flirting with me. He’s quick to grab onto my arm if he thinks I’m about to stumble. And if I’m not mistaken, he holds on a bit too long. He’s always complimenting the way I look, even when I’m sweaty after a walk. And he’s been sending me deliveries of fruit baskets, my favorite pastries, and even the occasional meal from Goodwin’s or Lloyd’s.

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