Page 120 of Crazy Imperfect Hearts

I raise a brow.

She chuckles. “Relax, sailor. I’m not hitting on you. We call it kangaroo care. It’s a technique for holding preemies that involves placing the baby directly on your chest for skin-to-skin contact. It not only promotes bonding, but can help your baby sleep better, keep them warm, and improve their heart, breathing, blood pressure, even their glucose levels. It’s amazing what it can do.”

Before she’s even done explaining, my shirt is off.

When she unwraps him from the blanket, he’s just in a diaper. I’m amazed they even make diapers that small. His body is so tiny. He looks much smaller than he did just an hour ago. His little arms and legs look so frail I’m almost scared to hold him.

“It’s okay,” Christa assures me, sensing my anxiety. “He won’t break.”

When she places him on my chest, my entire world stops. Everything else falls away. It’s just me and him. My son. My new purpose in life.

“Ho-lee shit,” I murmur.

“Pretty incredible, huh?” Christa says.

“I had no idea.”

“Nobody does. You can try and tell people how it will feel to have a child. But until you experience it, there just aren’t enough words to truly express it.”

“Why haven’t I ever done this before?” I whisper. “I swear to god I’m going to give you a dozen siblings.”

I think I hear Christa chuckle before she walks away and leaves me to bond with my son.

Sometime later—I don’t even know how long it’s been.Ten minutes? An hour?—Christa comes back and leans over the top of his empty incubator. “You’re going to be a good dad. I can tell.”

“I plan on it.”

“I read the article,” she says. “Saw the news stories too.”

“You and everyone else,” I say, not looking up from my incredible sleeping son.

“They didn’t tell the whole story.”

I glance up. “What do you mean?”

“They left something out.”

I narrow my eyes at her.

“You’re in love with her.”

“What?” My heart pounds. “You’re crazy.”

“You’re the one who’s crazy if you don’t tell the woman who just had your kid that you love her.”

I look back at Mitchell, not having the energy to deny it. “It’s way more complicated than that.”

“Complicated. Right. You just had a baby together. There’s no clear answer here.”

“Whatever, Christa.”

My stomach grumbles. I’m not even sure how long it’s been since I’ve eaten. It’s been even longer for Regan since they didn’twant her eating during labor. She’ll be starving when she wakes up.

“Hey, Christa.” I nod to my phone sitting on the little table. “Mind doing me a favor?”

“More pictures?”

“No. I need you to place an order for me. Regan will want to eat when she wakes up. Can you call Sushi King?”

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